New york times tinder

This clue was last seen on New York Times Crossword on August 29 2020 In case the clue doesn’t fit or there’s something wrong please contact us! Tip: If are looking for help with another clue you can use the search function (on the right side of the website if you're on a desktop or down if you're browsing using a smartphone) or the ... A new dating site has hit the market called Pinder, a play on the widely popular dating app Tinder, but instead of swiping right or left on a potential human hookup, all of the eligible singles ... Though his Tinder bio says that he lives in New York, his apartment is actually in Jersey City—which explains the kitchen—and his neighbor is the photographer behind every shot. To start, there are low barriers to entry. A good smartphone camera is the only overhead, at least initially. And for a generation saddled by student loan debt (Ella’s tuition is about $47,000 a ... On this particular page you will find the solution to Tinder bio info crossword clue crossword clue. This clue was last seen on New York Times Crossword on September 20 2020 In case the clue doesn’t fit or there’s something wrong please contact us! Some Tinder users delete the app, then immediately re-download it and sign back in. The algorithm treats them as new users, so they show up in feeds of women who have already seen them. With 43 billion matches to date, Tinder® is the world’s most popular dating app, making it the place to meet new people. A new mobile dating application called Tinder appears to be taking off among college students for its simple and flirty interface. Its founders say the application is downloaded more than 20,000 times each day. Tinder and Bumble are desperate to convince you that you’re not desperate. Dating, they promise, is fun, so fun, that when one date ends badly, it’s a barely disguised blessing: You get to ... Critics complain that Tinder is a hookup app, a good way to pursue a one-night stand but a lousy way to start a serious relationship. But this is a false dichotomy.

Brandi Glanville Unfiltered Podcast Summary – Sept. 24, 2020 episode with Andy Cohen

2020.09.26 17:51 readingrachelx Brandi Glanville Unfiltered Podcast Summary – Sept. 24, 2020 episode with Andy Cohen

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2020.09.26 01:28 continuedpath Dutch pedo i met on yubo

Warning: very long story
Before i start this story i just want to say that I completely understand how stupid i was for not seeing the red flags earlier on, in my defence , I was still new to the concept of romantic relationships and quite naive. To add on, I was recovering from being ghosted months prior, I had quite horrible self esteem and was willing to put up with shitty and creepy behaviour from people online and I fully regret it. This wasn't very long ago when this took place, during the end of January 2020, with it currently being almost october 2020. However, I would like to think that this experience woke me up a bit. I would also like to say that I thankfully did not send any intimate or sexual photos to this person.
Also, I do not have any bias towards dutch people, even though i've had two horrible experiences with people from the Netherlands and Belgium, I understand that there are always bad apples in every group, and this creep happened to be one of them. Holland is a beautiful country and I'm sure there are very lovely people there, just not him. On a side note, if anyone knows how to see soccer stats of players all over the world/check if someone ever was in that sport, please let me know in the comments.
I'm fully aware that someone might call me an idiot, or I might receive some backlash for falling for this, I understand, but this just shows how vulnerable teen girls can be. I would appreciate it if people don't call me out for being foolish, I know that, I still feel like an idiot. This is why I want to share this, to get some of it off my chest and hopefully this might prevent someone from getting into a similar situation in the future.
This story starts near the end of January, I was 16, studying for my final exams for the first semester of my junior year. I took a study break and was on yubo. For those who don't know what yubo is, it's an app to meet new people, you make an account with your name and age, they either direct you to a server for teens 13-17, or 18+. Some people like to call it the “tinder for teens'' which explains it pretty well. Anyways I was swiping and I found someone, who i will refer to as “T” for now, i don't want to give out his name for my safety and other privacy reasons. What caught my attention was that while looking through his profile he stated he was from the Netherlands, and staying in Canada for a few months. The reason this caught my attention and me personally vulnerable, was that I used to know someone who was also “dutch”, well flemish (from northern belgium). Since this caught my interest, and kind of reminded me of him, I decided to message T.
We got along pretty well but even in the first conversation there were some red flags, he told me he was 17 (also stated on his profile) and that he was staying in a town near mine to work for his uncle at an animal clinic till the summer. He also claimed he had his own car and apartment. Although I don't really know how the education system works, from what I've heard, dutch students can graduate early and take a gap year before they decide to go to university/college, so this could make sense. However, some red flags were that 1. The legal driving age in the Netherlands and many other european countries is 18, he wouldn't have his own car, and he wouldn’t be able to get a license in Canada as a non Canadian citizen. 2. Getting his own apartment seems too good to be true, his family would have to rent it out for him, and honestly that would be alot of money, also it would be stupid to let a 17 year boy alone like that. 3. He was immediately nice and way to flirty, I can't remember much but looking back, it was sketchy. 4. He claimed he didn’t have instagram nor snapchat, but gave me his number, where we communicated on whatsapp. Unfortunately, I did not think to double check the legal driving age in the Netherlands, nor think that it's strange he did not have basic social media such as instagram. We talked the rest of that night on whatsapp where he showed me photos of his dog, food he cooked and he complimented me way too much. Being naive at the time I really thought this was gonna be the start of something great.
The next few days go by and we move too fast, talking about how he wants to date me, talking about things we could do together once we get familiar. (This was extremely manipulative and predatory behaviour looking back, he was trying to groom me). To add on, he claimed he used to play soccer and was at the national level, which i think was a lie considering what i found out later on, and the fact he might have used it to impress me, considering I am more the athletic type, having qualified for nationals (i won't name the sport to keep confidential).
We both wanted to call and we did so on Skype. This means i have him on skype too, and this is how I know his last name (which is a key element). On the skype calls, he looked just like his pictures on yubo where he said he was 17, he didn’t have facial hair and could pass for a 17 year old. He was much different on skype then on text, he talked more sexually and kept going on about how he’s good at it because he was experienced, and how he wants to make the woman feel good, etc. He also said that he didn’t want to force me if i wasnt ready, that sex on the first date isn’t expected, but he also doesn’t see an issue if i were to give him a handjob or something. Looking back, he was quite narcissistic and perverted, always talking about himself and rambling, but still somewhat polite. He had a noticeable accent which makes sense because he's dutch, but he claims he's been to Canada multiple times and had lots of stories about it, (they made sense but they could be fake if he just did some research).
This goes on for a week, until the night before a competition I had (Wednesday, January 29th 2020). His replies became noticeably more short, which felt odd since he was the type to write paragraphs. I didn't question it until the next day, (Thursday, the 30th) at my competition, where i asked why he was so quiet, he said he was “vibing with some girl” and sent a photo of him, with makeup editing on, but at first, i thought it was real. I confronted and he told me to chill, and it was a joke, but he inwas thinking he immediately lost interest (looking back i was stupid for thinking so, but i was used to people leaving and i really liked him, so i was panicking. Also, I was tired from having just come back from my competition and having my exams that week). He then apologizes and says “it was just a joke, you’re making me feel like a murdered a baby”, and then spammed with with those gif stickers on whatsapp, he sent tons, like maybe 30, it was extremely weird and it frightened me more, he was acting crazy at this point, denying my emotions and i felt scared and a little stupid, worried about if this was going to work. I was actually crying because I was so scared of losing something that could be great. I said I was going to sleep and I apologized, claiming I was tired and I said goodnight, he replied with a stone cold “bye”.
On Friday, the 31st, I texted him good morning and he said “hi”, acting completely different from the days before, I asked about last night and why he was acting weird (the spamming stickers and cold texts). He acted like he had no clue what I was talking about, I said I felt scared and he says that the photo of him filtered as a girl was a joke (it was a filter but still not funny to me) he said I needed to calm down, that i was overreacting and that he was busy for one day and that i blew up at him. I apologized sincerely, I felt shitty and he said that he was a little scared and “oof” from me, because of how i acted from the change of his behaviour, saying “i was busy for one day and you blew up like this”. Me being me, I apologized again saying i promise i wasn’t usually like this. He just left my text on read, didn’t reply, and I felt sick. I did horrible at my competition that night.
On Saturday he still didn’t reply, i decided i needed to focus and i deleted my whatsapp app, (my account was deleted however this erased our conversation). Later in the afternoon, after preliminaries, I decided to redownload the app, due to the fact I didn't have finals that night, (I was really slow due to how stressed I was). When I redownloaded, I saw he blocked me, I checked on skype and the same was done there too.
I was really pale and quiet at this point from how stressed I was, I ended up telling my mom everything, that I met this guy and he ghosted me, she didn’t fully understand and I changed some parts of the story, like how I met him. I tried contacting via another phone with international texting and still nothing. I also tried calling and leaving a voicemail with that phone since it wasnt blocked, it probably was stupid and out of line, but i was doing my best not to lose another person in my life. I didn’t bother looking him up too much (i REALLY should have), my mother advised me to move on so i did, i deleted photos and screenshots of conversations and didn't bother trying to search him up, i had to accept he was gone and that i screwed it all up, i felt like it was all my fault. Looking back I should have thought, and done research, especially on a laptop, right after i had met him.
Eventually weeks go by and nothing happens, I eventually decide I need to focus on my schoolwork, and get good grades, even though I was quite sad about it at the time. A few months later, after lockdown had taken place, i thought about T, i wondered about the Netherlands when i was driving one day, the driving age was 16 here, so what was it in the Netherlands? I looked it up out of curiosity, and then felt concerned to realize the legal age to drive was 18. This is where I had my realization, fucking finally.
I immediately grabbed a laptop and searched his first and last name I had from skype, there was not much but i found a Linkedin. I made my own damn account to see his full page, where it stated he had a bachelors degree in international business at a university in the Netherlands. It was his profile with his face, but his job was odd. I've never heard of an “Esports Manager” but reading about his love for gaming was odd when he never even mentioned it to me, also the timeline of his bachelor and his 10+years experience, starting at 13 meant he must have been at least 23 years old. His profile stated he lives near Rotterdam, which makes sense considering it matches with the area code of his phone number, also the +31 is for the Netherlands, so he is most likely dutch. This same information was also available on his twitter bio. I kept doing tons of research, I even went on google images and after searching his name I found a link to a public instagram page. Not his though, his girlfriend’s. I'll call her K:
From what i see , K seems to be a 20 year old woman in finland, who does art. She must still be with him considering her profile picture was his face, she had photos of him from as far as 3 years ago, with them kissing, holding hands and him being tagged, so i naturally was able to see he had an instagram too, but i couldn’t access it (he found my account first and must have blocked me before i ever knew). As soon as he got my full name from skype, it would have made it easy for him to find me there and block my account, so I’ll never know. Fortunately i have a second account which i was able to see he had one, with his profile picture being K’s face, but his account was private and i wasn’t gonna take the risk of following him, he would know it was me. I checked his Facebook too, and there was no mention of him ever doing soccer, which adds to the fact it was probably a lie, although it didn't seem like he used it much. Also, K was not living in the Netherlands, but still in Finland, her instagram was filled with photos of her all over the world, she must be one to travel a lot. There are photos of her in New York, Netherlands, Belgium and Austria. Her last name is also finnish and her facebook and facebook relatives are all Finnish too. I think she and T were in a sort of long distance relationship, but see eachother often by travelling each summer.
I was able to recover old screenshots I sent my friends in January when I was freaking out over the whole situation, and i have a document with all the links to any media or page online relating/identifying to him. I told my friends and they obviously called me out for being stupid, i feel like ive lost some respect from some of them, i dont blame them. It sucks because now one of my closest friends thinks im crazy for dutch guys, and that im legitimately dumb, basically hinting that i shouldn’t have expected anything, and she was right. If something is too good to be true, it probably is. This definitely was something i should have seen, and i was ignoring all the warning signs.
I was advised by them to go to the police and tell my mother. I told my mother and she kind of explained that its not safe going to police, if i don't have enough evidence then it’ll look like i made false accusations, especially considering i don't have the messages where he said he was 17, or any where i said i was 16, plus i lost our whatsapp conversation, all i have is the skype conversation which doesn’t have anything incriminating. She also advised i dont tell K either, it might get me in trouble too, and her reaction is unpredictable. As much as I want to, I most likely won't start anything, I don't want to start personal or legal drama.
It's kind of hard sometimes after all this. First of all, i feel like an idiot. Second, I have proof to expose a pedofile, and get T in trouble for luring a minor (he did want to meet up with me). Third, this information would ruin a 3 year relationship, and honestly that poor girl probably has to deal with his narcissistic and manipulative behaviour, but then again i really don't know what they are both like. But most importantly, i could have been a victim of statutory rape, maybe even have fallen into what could have been a human trafficker trying to groom me.
The reason I say this is because of him mentioning his uncle quite a bit, and his job of being a secretary that works from home for the clinic, but sometimes coming in to do office work, saying that his schedule could be all over the place. When i asked about it he mentioned he takes a lot of calls and manages clients, this could be a far stretch but he was eager to meet me, who knows what could have happened if i did. Also, an “ESports Manager” seems sketchy, and that was enough to get him his own place? I understand that some elements of video games and tournaments can rank up some money, and they’re is proof of him actually being one, even one showing him being a leader for a professional gaming team for ACER in a CSGO tournament. I found this on an esports website and there were also a few tweets about it where they @ him. But still, it could be a potential side job.
There's also another theory of mine that he was never in Canada, and used a vpn to lie about his location on yubo and he could have used google maps to seem knowledgeable about the region im in, however his knowledge about stores and places he claimed he visited seemed to specific and i don't see why he would waste time lying about that, especially when he wanted to meet up irl. Unless he would only be trying to get photos from me, but I wasn't willing to. Which might be why he easily opted out. If he was in Canada, i'm assuming he flew back home anyway because of the pandemic.
Also, he deleted his yubo account, i'm not sure if he made another despite me looking around, i've now deleted that application because i no longer wish to meet new people, i've learned to be content with my life with a few close friends, i don't need a boyfriend.
If i'm honest, i think i am extremely lucky to have had him block me after a week, i could have learned this lesson in a much more traumatic way. I keep tabs on her instagram and I have been able to figure out who some of T’s relatives are via Facebook. I know I seem creepy but it's my way of trying to fully understand who this person was, and if I ever decide to tell the police, I have loads of contacts. Also, i started writing this in august, its now end of september and after doing some more digging, i saw he updated his facebook and twitter to show he lives in Finland now. I think they might have moved in together, but who knows.
I made an imgur and I have a post with photo evidence, however i don't want to break the rules of the sub and I'm here to tell my story, not expose someone.
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2020.09.17 07:34 dlffnalskxl Did I overreact to a guy who forgot about a virtual date?

I am in my early 30s and gay. Although the dynamics in gay world can be different, I don’t think my sexuality requires a totally different viewpoint and perspective in this story.
I met a guy on Tinder and we started chatting for about a week or so. He’s a bit older than me and seems to have a good job in his field. We talked about our jobs, background, and so on, and basically just basic information about ourselves. He suggested a phone or a video call to get to know each other. The actual words were he was not “opposed” to having a call if I was down to that. I responded that I preferred to meet in person because I am so awkward on the phone, but he was concerned about the pandemic situation and said that if we hit it off, we could meet in person. Well, I guess I had to adapt to our challenging environment these days and agreed to do so.
He suggested that we have a call on Tuesday. It was actually very abrupt because he was going on a lunch break in 15 minutes and asked if I was available. I wasn’t and in fact, he got caught up with phone calls in the end and was not available. He apologized and suggested that night instead, but I was not available, so I said I would be available next day (Wednesday) evening, so we decided to have a call on Wednesday. On Tuesday night, I briefly mentioned that I survived New York during the quarantine, and this intrigued him and he said “we have something to talk about tomorrow”. Flash forward to Wednesday morning, he said “haha” in response to something I said, my very last message, sent on Tuesday night. However, we did not decide on the specific time. The whole day passed by quickly because I was busy with work and now around 9:30, he still didn’t call me. I take partial responsibility of not confirming the time with him, but also, it was his idea to have a call, so I guess I was expecting him to call me. Based on the past conversation with him, his messages were sporadic and seemed to be the kind of communicator who says what he wants to say and puts his phone away. We didn’t really have a back and forth continuous text conversation. I sensed that he would not call me so I sent him a message saying, “Well, I guess this call is not happening”.
Around 10:30, he sent me the following message: “sorry, I got home recently after having had dinner with friends outside, and I got to reading and forgot about this. I’m not very diligent with dating stuff. Perhaps I’m a bit discouraged (or disgusted?) by the world of dating. But it’s no reason to be rude to you. I’m sorry if you expected a call tonight. anywho, have a good night, and let’s try some other time if you want.”
I didn’t respond right away because there was a lot to unpack from here. There are just so many red flags for me. First of all, I hate my time being wasted, but I am not an unreasonable person. If he was sick or had a family emergency, I would have understood. I did make myself available that night when I could have done something more productive. Despite his honesty, just forgetting was not a rational excuse to me and he did recognize that he was rude. But most of all, do I want to spend time on someone who is not even serious about dating? And trust me, I fully understand the sentiment of being tired of this dating world. In the end, my answer was no. I sent him this message:
“Pass. I don’t think it’s necessary to reply but I will. I firmly believe that manners make the man. It was your idea to have a call which I agreed. If as little as setting up a call cannot happen, I don’t see any prospects, especially after chatting yesterday about the call today. Although you don’t owe me anything, it already says a lot about your interest level, mindset, and capacity. I don’t enjoy this exhausting dating game either, but I haven’t lost my manners. I am looking for someone who is seriously looking and it’s good to know in advance that you are not serious although it’s disappointing.”
Then he said “I respect your decision, but I find your tone unnecessarily mean.”
Was I really mean? I feel a bit petty to reply in this manner, but if he was not even going to put in this little effort in meeting someone, I think I dodged a bullet. Any thoughts?
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2020.09.13 15:36 billypennsballs The U.S. shows all the signs of a country spiraling toward political violence

By Rachel KleinfeldRachel Kleinfeld is a senior fellow at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. Her most recent book is “A Savage Order: How the World’s Deadliest Countries Can Forge a Path to Security.”September 11, 2020 at 11:35 a.m. EDTAdd to list
In the past 16 weeks, more than 50 drivers have plowed into peaceful protesters all around the country. Armed militants shut down Michigan’s legislature. Unidentified law enforcement officers heaved demonstrators into unmarked vans. Security forces in Washington used low-flying helicopters to harass citizens decrying police brutality. Protesters and police alike have brutalized journalists. Ideologues from left and right have been accused of killing political opponents. Should Americans be worried about widespread violence?
Yes. Political violence in democracies often seems spontaneous: an angry mob launching a pogrom, a lone shooter assassinating a president. But in fact, the crisis has usually been building for years, and the risk factors are well known. The United States is now walking the last steps on that path.
Partisans who would never commit violence themselves are transforming from bystanders to apologists, making excuses for the “excesses” of their side while pointing fingers across the aisle. Particularly striking have been the inflammatory statements of Republican politicians, given the influence leaders’ words carry. Of course, they are simply mimicking President Trump, who is most responsible for setting the kindling aflame.
Political violence tends to strike in countries where it has happened before. It feeds on discrimination, social segregation and inequality — which provide reasons for grievance while making it hard for divided populations to understand each other. Polarization exacerbates these conditions while blocking societies from solving their problems.
All the ingredients are here: America’s political violence traces back to our Civil War, the causes of which were never really resolved. The Union won the war, but the Confederates prevailed in the peace. Attempting to undo nearly a century of segregation and discrimination with civil rights legislation in the mid-1960s ushered in the next national outbreak of violence. The wound of racism deepens America’s deep inequality and our political polarization.
* * *
The most deadly countries in the world, in fact, are not at war. They’re highly unequal, highly polarized democracies facing a cocktail of political, criminal and state violence. In these places, such as Colombia in the 1990s and early 2000s, political violence mixes with state repression, vigilantism and crime (which often gains community support by playing a political angle, exemplified by drug kingpin Pablo Escobar’s use of charity to ingratiate himself with the poor). South Africa’s brutal police, vigilante gangs and xenophobic pogroms may seem far from our society — but the pattern is similar to America’s problems with police brutality, white-supremacist vigilantes, and shootings in recent years at an immigrant-friendly Walmart in El Paso, a Pittsburgh synagogue and a Black church in Charleston, S.C.
Similar risk factors also exist in countries that aren’t slipping into violence. For instance, Spain fought a civil war in the 20th century and battled a domestic terrorist campaign into the 21st. It is one of the most unequal countries in Europe. Since 2008, it has faced political polarization so intense that its two-party system has split into four. Catalonia’s secessionist movement resulted in nine regional politicians receiving prison sentences for sedition just a year ago. Yet partisans are not killing one another in the streets.
That’s because countries can be resilient, too. Strong democratic institutions, such as trusted courts and functional legislatures, can keep violence at bay by enabling populations to resolve differences. Political parties that are shaped by mass membership and ideological agreement, rather than serving as vehicles for individuals, also make violence less likely.
Even more important is a healthy society. Norms against violence are crucial. Crosscutting identities — such as religious affiliations or strong ties to a location — help people come together around identities that are not polarized. Social trust is a nation’s immune system. When it weakens, countries are less able to fend off or recover from all manner of ills.
The election will likely spark violence — and a constitutional crisis
Consider industrializing England in the early 1800s, 150 years after its civil war. Extraordinary inequality and exclusion existed alongside a dysfunctional, corrupt electoral system. A failing economy, tariffs and taxes impoverished the poor. Luddites smashed industrial machines. In 1819, aristocrats were so frightened by working-class demands for the vote that the cavalry charged a peaceful political rally of 60,000 people, murdering nearly a dozen protesters. The government temporarily suspended rights to assembly and speech, instigating assassination plots against multiple ministers.
Yet Parliament, political parties and the courts were strong. The government worked to end slavery and enable unions; politicians didn’t want violence. While their attempts were highly imperfect, they tried to steer the state into a new economic epoch as best they could. England exited this rot into an era of bustling Victorian do-gooders rather than armed fighters in the streets.
* * *
In the United States, however, resilience has been weakening, even as our risk factors increase. We are among the world’s most polarized countries. Racial, ideological, religious and geographic identities reinforce one another, exacerbating partisan division rather than offering alternative connections. Trust in the government is at a near-historic low of 17 percent, and 79 percent of Americans think there’s too little trust between citizens. Meanwhile, institutional guardrails are eroding. Gridlock and decline define Congress. Opinions about the Supreme Court are increasingly driven by partisanship. The Republican Party has set aside professed values to rally behind a personality.
As resilience fades and risks rise, society begins to break. People lose faith in established parties and processes. They begin to look to outsiders who promise to “fix it.” Politicians who see a path to power by enabling violence pose the greatest danger. They test the system to gauge costs and benefits. If they are shut out of mainstream political parties, as the Brits, Finns and Belgians did to homegrown fascist leaders in the 1930s and 1940s, societies can move on peacefully. Republican voters similarly succeeded in preventing nativist Pat Buchanan from running on their ticket in 2000. But by 2016, the GOP, weakened by the tea party’s rise, couldn’t stop Donald Trump from taking over.
When opportunistic politicians get a foothold, they break institutional guardrails with astonishing speed. They undermine professional norms, as with Trump’s refusal to set aside his personal business interests. They politicize institutions of government, often demanding personal loyalty — as Trump has done with independent inspectors general, the Justice Department, the post office and countless senior appointments. Meanwhile, they accelerate political polarization and gin up violent sentiment.
An early warning sign is language that casts enemies as subhuman and threatening. The causal relationship between such language and violence is one reason scholars have been so alarmed at Trump’s consistent amalgamation of immigrants, people of color and political opponents as nonhuman and menacing.
Dehumanizing language reduces inhibitions to violence. Framing vilified populations as threatening enables perpetrators to justify aggression as self-protection. That’s what happened with Bosnian leader Radovan Karadzic, who compared Muslims to animals as he rose to power in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Repetition of the canard that Muslims were a demographic threat to Serbian identity helped Serbs rationalize murder to “defend” their way of life against neighbors whose lives were remarkably similar. Consider Trump’s 2016 Republican convention speech, in which he claimed that “nearly 180,000 illegal immigrants with criminal records, ordered deported from our country, are tonight roaming free to threaten peaceful citizens,” followed by countless repetitions of the theme that “these aren’t people — these are animals,” blurring distinctions between immigrants in general and gang members. The result has been a steep rise in violent hate crimes against Latinos, according to FBI statistics.
Trump has spread more hatred of immigrants than any American in history
A country’s final line of defense is a professional, nonpolitical security service that refuses to use force against civilians. Even if the tinder has been laid and an institution-destroying politician sends sparks flying, the conflagration rarely catches until state violence is turned on peaceful opposition.
The United States has one of the world’s most professional militaries. But we also have 18,000 local police forces and myriad state and federal security agencies with different norms and levels of professionalization. Since the beginning of his presidency, Trump has recognized and applauded law enforcement agencies that felt underappreciated, such as U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement and local sheriffs. Using incendiary language and pardons for lawbreaking, he has encouraged violence against civilians, as when he told a group of law enforcement officers, “Don’t be too nice” to suspects. Many officers welcome the freer rein.
The federal crackdown in Portland is ‘legal.’ That’s the problem with it.
Decades of research on violence, ranging from 1960s protests in Germany and Italy to terrorist movements in North Africa today, has found that government repression is the turning point that shifts peaceful movements toward violence. Organizations trying to operate within the system look weak and foolish, while violent splinter groups swell with new recruits from the fearful and angry. Protesters and the state feed each other’s violence in a vicious spiral. Data shows that this is precisely what happened in Portland, Ore., where violence escalated after the deployment of federal security forces this summer.
Soon, polarized populations begin rationalizing, downplaying or even denying the violence from their side. Moderates begin to silence themselves, fearing for their jobs, social standing or lives. Even partisans once seen as extreme begin to face similar consequences if they try to stand against dehumanization, intimidation or violence. Why speak when David Shor, a liberal former Obama campaigner, can be fired for tweeting a study about the negative political effects of violent protest tactics? Even partisans once seen as extreme begin to face similar consequences, as when the evangelical conservative writer David French was attacked from the right for defending civility.
This is where America is now.
* * *
So what might our future hold? Civil war seems far-fetched; U.S. institutions are weakening, but they remain stronger than in many countries. Despite pervasive “law and order” rhetoric, overall violence is actually quite low: At just under 5 homicides per 100,000 people, today’s murder rate is about where it was in the late 1950s and early 1960s, according to the FBI’s statistics.
What we may be in for, though, is a return to the 1960s and 1970s. That might sound innocuous — except that 13,000 National Guardsmen were deployed to Los Angeles after 34 people were killed in the 1965 riots, the first of hundreds of protests and more than a dozen violent riots over the next three years that killed over 100 and left urban centers gutted for four decades. A president and presidential candidate, John F. and Bobby Kennedy, were assassinated, as were Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. In 1972, another presidential candidate, George Wallace, narrowly survived an assassination attempt. A 1968 Gallup poll found that 81 percent of the country agreed that “law and order has broken down.” A University of Michigan researcher found in 1971 that nearly one-third of men thought that “police beating students” wasn’t violence at all — and even more felt the same about “police shooting looters.” Throughout the 1970s, America faced nearly 1,500 terrorist attacks, nearly all domestic in origin. The murder rate crept up steadily, nearly doubling from the early 1960s through the late 1970s.
To avoid this fate again, we must stop casting blame. Finger-pointing is seductive; it feels morally necessary and even essential to identifying the “real” cause of the problem. But at this point, partisans can’t agree on the real cause. The only way out is to sidestep worn arguments and begin rebuilding from points of agreement — as Colombia did when millions voted in favor of constitutional change in 1990, even if they couldn’t find common ground on whether left-wing rebels or right-wing paramilitaries were more to blame for the crisis.
America’s democracy is ailing, and its immune system is on life support. We are the only industrialized democracy with decreasing life expectancy. Deaths in our streets are augmented by those from covid-19 and deaths of despair. These ailments grow from a broken social contract, which we cannot repair from inside polarized bunkers. Instead, we must find some way to step back from the brink.
submitted by billypennsballs to Foxhidesinfo [link] [comments]


2020.09.09 05:04 happiestjedionearth Recap: From So and So to Bland

We get to watch the lost boys participate in a "dadchelor" party for John Boy post-Gracie, because she came early. Dungeon asks Bin if he can go to the party, since he's a boy. Bin encourages that logic by repeating the request back and confirming. They use wetted diapers as basketballs for a hoops game, which Justin wins. They all wear cheesy t-shirts with variations of uncle/dadisms. Josiah seems to reach for an uncle shirt, but a lost boy says "there's only one person left who can wear a dad shirt" and Siah seems to relunctantly oblige. "Purge" says James is his favorite uncle because he fixes stuff. According to the shirts, James is a funcle, and Austin makes cute babies. Siah fails a dad joke, and we get a series of dad jokes from several talking heads. Spurgeon's joke was hands-down the best one and the only one I hadn't heard "what did the elevator say when sick? I'm coming down with something!" I hope Blessa is giving him his cut for carrying this show on his back, solo talking heads and all.
Austin says he looks up to JD and there's a few emotional (for the duggars) comments from lost boys calling JD a "good man." Montage of the dads of the group saying they lose sleep when there's a newborn, some wake up to the crying, and others sleep. Apparently Austin has to wake up Joy when Gideon cries. The party is hosted at the twins' house and they serve exclusively steak for dinner. The women are asked for their opinions on that and none seem surprised. We are SO impressed by their MAscUlinitY! Because a vegetable would be effeminate!
TLC plays Keeping Up with the Kardashian's music (kim k just announced that show is now over, I feel old) every time the Books come on screen, cause they are sO soCaLi!
Germ's photographer friend and wife who have been featured numerous times on Counting on (we get unnecessary flashbacks, TLC clearly trying to fill screen time) come to visit from cold New York and Germ decides to drive them to the mountains for snow. They mostly tube down slopes, and Jinger is surprisingly graceful. Germ calls tubing the most american sport, and states we would win the gold every time if it were an olympic sport, because all you have to do is lay on your stomach and let gravity take you.
The Bookses attempt to fly a kite at the beach on a windless day. Jingle claims Publicitee is "usually pretty expressive" but wasn't too thrilled about the kite flying. Germ claims he never flew a kite as a kid, or doesn't remember if he did. Jingle gasps and exclaims, "what kind of childhood did you have?" --the kind where he wasn't expected to raise his sibling and was encouraged to go to college, Jinger. Publicitee cries if there is anything on her hands, and Meech states a few of Jana's kids were the same way as babies, including Jingle. Germ makes it extremely obvious that he is not from California by incessantly referring to the beach as "the Pacific."
The episode ends with the PussyDestroyers revealing the Jinder of Evelyn. They incorporate a helicopter and confetti. I love that for the planet, so classy! Joy says this pregnancy has been harder, that she has been fearful of this pregnancy going wrong but claims she has a "very good doctor" and is trusting the lord. Kendra says she is THRILLED that its EXTRA exciting to be excited that Joy is expecting because of the excitement, and says thrilled and excited that many times in those 10 seconds. Meech says this pregnancy is "really healing" for Joy.
Blessa says they have used every jinder reveal possible, and Austin says it's hard to come up with something original. Joy says John is getting his helicopter license and that 's why she chose this method. Pink confetti comes down and Meech says she was VERY surprised to see it. Kendra says it's the 7th girl in a row. Johanna hugs Joy and they look identical. Lauren makes it about herself and says she's excited for Bsa to have a friend to play with (because of course that wouldn't be possible if it were a boy).
Boob says that the tinder reveals are getting over the top, and Meech repeats that with a hand motion, pointing out the half-effort pun with regards to the helicopter. Jeer pronounces gender correctly and says the reveals get bigger and bigger and bigger. Dead Eyes says next they might have to break into the atmosphere. Mother Earth, do your California apocalypse thing exclusively at the TTH compound, thx.
Joy addresses her last pregnancy as a miscarriage, which I found surprising, I know she lost Annabelle just shy of a stillbirth, but I guess I expected them to play that up. Austin is seen with a bucket, maybe cleaning up the confetti? If so, those world's strictest parents really drilled home the lesson of cleaning up after oneself.
Season Finale is coming up I think? We'll see how many lost boys Hot Lauren is courting? Maybe? See ya then!
submitted by happiestjedionearth to DuggarsSnark [link] [comments]


2020.09.07 23:25 EmrahTopp Topp Power Rankings (i put fender's posts through 5 iterations of google translate to get a better idea of what he actually means)

A Team

The following is the rated power. It is not as poisonous as I want, and I love you very much. But some of you are also terrible. and so. good luck
Disclaimer: If you don’t like your position, yadda yadda, please prove me wrong, yadda yadda

C-Class-not good looking

Cape Town, Bohemia

O: French fries/pack
D: Butter / Rick J. #853
agree. This is a disgust to me. Rick is 100 cents, which is definitely not the best thing he can do. Like, I really don't know what Rick is doing. I think he may only know who he wants. But look. First, get the butter. A Western guard with a great Chicago team, but once you play in Toronto, things get tough, especially because he recruited Luke Mo, who was tied up on Tuesday, so he can't use him. Overspend, but I think it may skyrocket, so it should be okay. He got 22 pk, which is not bad, but I don’t have much confidence in Tudou/pk. In any case, I think Rick's defense is good, but he could have done a lot on the budget. I don't think this is a drama.
TL; DR good players, bad projects

puck

Q: MolleVitus Tour
D: Catalyst/Super
Flaccid's development is very good, Vntus scored 59. This is a good choice. But at that time you have 41 cents left, as if you will defend together soon. The catalyst at position 11 is very good, but I think he needs a better partner than Superdig. I think in the end you can have some better options. I hope Airmigo can appear as soon as possible and have a place in the team.
TL;DR's story is similar to Rick

B-Class-Fight

Big Poppa comes to Olive Jardim

Q: IfYouSeekAmy/Zeus? k42 ??
D: TheBob18/Zeus?? k42??
So Smalley / Pop shines for Amy. 55/65 coins, very fast. Therefore, the remaining 10 coins are reserved for drafts. Hard core. But Zeus / k42 / T-Swift are just three criminals, and I don't see any of them that can really succeed with Bob. I think Zeus must attack, which is good. He has been doing well in the past, but there are no outstanding guards. I don't know how good they are.
TL;DR are two good players and two interesting choices

Motherboard

O: accelerated/unnamed
D: Dirik/Anthony Davis
The alternative draught acceleration that OPH can predict. Even so, his mechanic is very good, his name is not good at the end of last season, but he still doesn't believe this will be a big offense. D Rek seems to be looking for success, but I still don't sell it often. Anthony Davis is fine. You don’t think they will be in the top five. For this reason, they might be in the top five.
TL; DR classic OPH band. I will beat their ranking

Poost Office

Question: Jerry. /Gospel
D: Laser Pig / Edd
Laserpig is a good choice for Jerry with 33.2x MVB. Eangel is good because it rusted last season. I like Edd's good choice. however. I don't know how this team works. My guess is laser protection? I think that is not good. Jerry in D? Also because the euro is not good. The gospel is on d? I have never seen her before, so I doubt it. Gospel seat for the dwarves? may. But we will see my hypothesis. If they can solve the problem, they will be fine.
TL; Disaster recovery is good on paper, but not convincing in this regard

Square orange

O: Activity/Infinite Sky
D: Cronie/sarcasm
agree. This is a good question mark group. Normalgoodnot good/usuallygoodtoo bad. After a long interruption, Infinite Sky is back and has been performing poorly since S10. But it has both mechanisms and capabilities. Cronney usually performed well, but he did well last season, so it would be great if he returned to last season. If not, the team will not continue to qualify. Sarcasm is good, but after his first season, I lost the hype.
TL;DR Activ is good, and the other three are bad, until they are proven to be good

A-Tier-Comma binding

Cheating Station

O: CoolCat / wassa
D: I like HD/Frank
CoolCat is a good choice, I like it. I still don't like Lothar, but I'm sure he will keep it. I'm not sure how much HD I want in the first team, but I like Frank and think he will put a lot of effort into this team in defense. but I do not know. Interesting drafts, I believe they will be fine.
TL; DR Frank Gonn' download

The dark side of the ball

O: 2P1S / ScrubJay
D: Prism/Lamtron
2P is a special choice, he is not surprised. Therefore, they started with D's Prizm and O's 2P and performed well. Then they continued until the last moment without framed anyone, which cannot be said to be too surprising. I have more money on most money orders and don’t want to risk losing anyone. Can choose ScrubJay / Carp

Cover Catalytic Converter

O: Vinda/bbb
D: 360broscope / McCain Bacon
I think McCain Bacon is a great choice for 9 coins, as long as it doesn't wash a lot of things. Kinda was curious about what Proscope did, but Feder was very advantageous at the age of 50 and was overspend. It really depends on his performance this season. It used to be good, but also very disappointing. But I will bet first, there must be a reliable defense behind. bbb is a bit similar. This is a good thing, this is a bad thing. But I hope these guys can succeed.
TL; DR Good defense, shaking

The team is nothing

Q: Costanza/Sad
D: yppiks/Rob Delaney
Interesting, but it feels like an interesting team. Cooos and Rob are friends, so I can expect some good feelings. Grief is a good thing, but he has been struggling in the game last season. Skippy made a leap, which is great for him. He and Rob must remain solid, because Rob is indeed the best in a bad team, no matter who his team is. Trailer park? Or Flairbnb? idk. Cooos is a question mark of this attack, but it always has two methods, so I'm sure it will be good, but if the euphoria comes, the sadness cannot be resolved, Skippy suffocates to death, Rob eats if you steal it If you lose your belongings, this team may destroy it. But I doubt that will happen. First-class analysis.
TL; DR high ceiling/low floor

S-Tier-Nuper Worthy

Earth in advance

O: Skwid / Tinderfella
D: Chucky/Sacco
You know I must. I don't think Prism feels this way, but after spending most of my budget on 2P and I am very satisfied, I can have two people I want. Chucky was the best defender of the game, Saku was the best defender at the time, and it made him crazy when he was only 22. As for this season, Tinder has prepared for team A for at least three seasons. After having this season and OBOS, he finally managed to give him a leap. Add that wind. Linux has always been a luxury.
TL; PhD in Spiritual Team

Shadow guy

O: DivideOD God
D: Parsons Gram/DelSolar
In addition to being one of the best defenders in the game, Gram was also able to make 58 passes. Other Eastern leaders-you are stupid. If the crossover is close to this level for the last time, it should be easy. Continued attacks, especially on the eastern server. Probability of winning OBOS/MVB. Some people worry that he might back down if he is called, but I don't know. I will not underestimate them because of this. OD God is the right person. He performed well after the commercial defeat last season and the founding of Nuper. It can support good crossover. I have only been trained by Delsolar, but it seems that I can teach it quickly. Since this team is always under attack from the outside world, I think this gives them a lot of leeway. In addition, 2Nutz can fill in at any time.
TL; DR threw the other leaders of the East, not bad.

B team

don't think I report being lazy, but I do think many B teams have performed poorly this season. straight. Without much depth, I think most people would be killed when they have to shoot their next pick. We will pay attention.
Disclaimer: Don't cry for me, prove me wrong

C-Tier-Not Lookin'Good

Motherboard

O: Mr Kle-jerk / Dobs / sweetypete / Aspheric
D: Rasgarys / thyme
I don't sell to this team at all. In general, if there were good players it would be nice to walk, but I don't see it here. He's the best player on the team, I'm not sure that's a good thing. In a bad team last season, but everything was fine. The match is Euro, and last season's stats benefited from Grams and Titans. Maybe my ball just fell for a meme? I wonder. Furthermore. Enthy was a beginner at tpm, but I don't know. I am not sure this team will not succeed. I don't expect much.
TL; Are two regular players trying to organize a match?

Big Poppa comes to Olive Jardim

O: T-Swift! / HomerJay / SmallyBigs / Hjalpa
D: Berg Berg / TheEpicBlob
T-Swift and Homer are a good insult. But my tower was in the West Bank and Blob in Las Vegas. I think it's hard for him to play games in Toronto / New York. However, he must be good in Chicago / Dallas ... the defense bothers me. I don't think they can keep up. But who knows. They will find out.
TL; D. Were the defenses and attacks of the West strong? I don't see it

cheat station

O: JSwan / OuchMyBalls / JellyRat
D: The infamous / spiritual practice / spiritual reading
This team is good. I think it will work / be strong as usual. JSwan performed really well last month, but looks like he really doesn't have the support team? I guess I don't know who said it was good, but I don't know so now it's bad. The gel mouse turns its head O, not knowing what is going on around it. Slime_god did a great job defensively but was still a little awkward. I can't read the soul. Can't see this team disappear.
TL; DR, I love Outrageous, but don't sell it to other teams

The catalytic converter cover

O: EphewSeakay / Kooler / Spot
D: Niebuhr / Muller / Blau Palau
I can't say that I totally trust this team. Epio hasn't collaborated with Team B yet, but it needs time. Kooler on O is a switch, it'd be nice to see how it moves, but don't expect much. However, good saliva should work properly. Defense level is just below average. In the past few seasons, the Nipler has performed very well, but Mueller and Blau's performance hasn't been very reliable. Not sure how great they are. I will.
TL; Doctor Ephesus must be old

B-Tier-Strugglin '

The team is nothing

Hey: DANK_JUKER / Adawg / Baseball
D: I'm a goat / betnose / jarvis
Once reviewed, it may exceed ratings. I am a goat and Jarvis is a strong defense. Little did she know Burt DANK was definitely performing well, and Adawg and Roster Ball were good attacking picks. I can see these guys are in great shape, especially when DANK and Burt really showed up, but I can't say I'm used to it.
TL; The DR might be fine, but it takes some work

The ball player

Question: 2Nutz / Jig / Randy / Dock
D: Barry Berkman / Kim ~ Zion
I'm a little confused about this. They have excellent players and excellent 2Nutz skills and matches. Then, Randy and Buffment received some support. There is no evidence for Bari and Zion. So unless I'm sure Dance / Randy / Par is both O, I'm not sure where the ad is. 2Nutz on D might be the best, but overall I'm not sure. They will have to figure out how to get rid of this situation.
TL; Doctor, I don't know what this team is. 2 Nutz on D?

Hairstyles

Orange Square

O: Logi / WRIG? / 3.1 bull
D: Good! / clew3 / DEIRF
This team can reach the top 5. There are a lot of players on paper. Logi, WRIG, Thor, Noice are the skills for sure. As long as they work together in the right place, I'm not sure what will happen. But I think they have the right tools to do the job.
TL; DR is such a trusted group of people, but I'm not sure how to beat it

The Bohemian Hats Market

QUESTION: The wind is blowing / getting better / Sangster
D: Luquemo / 12384 / present
The team calls itself "Al Sharq". He has a lot of Midwestern / West players, so it will be interesting to see how this happens. That's cool, but it can also be cold. Non-motile chickens are potential beginners. Snekster wasn't too enthusiastic. It is on the West Coast, so my expectations for it are not high. Lukemoo has always been handsome in Team B, and he has to be handsome again. 12,384 performed well in JIB last season. Uralon

demon

O: KL / Aerrow / Moonghost
D: Airmigo / SB12 / Greg
I don't know how to look at this team. Kl is very good for b team, and will do well. Airmigo has made great strides this season. I'm expecting big things, but I also know he doesn't want to stay in team B, so I think this team will end up with good intentions in the middle of the season. For better or for worse. But we will see what happened. SB12 was really good last season, and Squeeb won't shut up with Gleg, so I hope it's DBOS now. Both aerrow and Moonghost are good, but some are average, but both are well supported.
TL; DR Solid is a team, but changing this season could eliminate them

S-Tier- Worth the hitting

Earth first

Question: shock / 42 / snake
D: Wellert / Pig / Burt / Pass
Maybe steeze will return to the level B team. Next to it is the 42nd and the rising serpent, which will be quickly captured with the help of several constellations. Sometimes it's because he doesn't know where he wants to play. In the past two seasons, Burbes has won 96 DNISH matches and Bert is 98 years old. Papus is really a god in this game, he will be furious all season. More beautiful than a boy. We'll arrive on Thursday.
TL; Doctorate in the spiritual team

The dark side of the ball

Hello: Driva / Jelly Ball / Black Widow
D: gh0st / Cirez D / Trapsin
Drawfa on B is great again. He entered the knockout stages and had to move forward, especially considering the number of his stages. Last season of our generation was very good and it should have been very solid. Black Widow is a potential beginner and he should be able to learn it very quickly. Gh0st / Cirez / Trapsin should also be one of the top three defensive players this season. Good 6 people core, I hope good. gh0st is always his teammates ball, Cirez often messes with the little ones, and Trap is a steady support ball.
TL; DR Solid Squad, it should work properly. Very balanced.

Post office

O: Carrell / Bold Roller / Astor
D: Dwarf Castle / William Timmy / Victor Messi
I think their manuscript is confirmed. I expect one of the B teams to do well. However, this is linked to the fact that Carrrl is not in Hell. The Dwarves / Welling should be the top three defenders this season, unless they have to turn around, don't think that's their problem. I'm not sure how deep the list is, but I don't think it makes much difference. He may be taking a good risk, but he sometimes makes stupid decisions. However, if Karl becomes healthy again, he should be fine. Solid.
TL; Great defense, Carrill is a question mark. The rotation option seems very weak.

As a result of things killing.
Rankings for PK's thing:
A: 1. BGUB 2. LBT 3. TTAN 4. DSB 5. POO 6. NIP 7. ABO 8. BPO 9. SOI 10. BCC 11. MB8
B: 1. LBT 2. DSB 3. BCC 4. SOI 5. POO 6. ABO 7. TTAN 8. NIP 9. BPO 10. CCC 11. MB8 12. BGUB
submitted by EmrahTopp to NLTP [link] [comments]


2020.09.07 17:02 Wesley-Snipers [SPOILER] My review after binge watching

Making it simple: I liked Karate Kid and Mr. Miyagi a lot when I was a teenager, and when I casually saw the trailer of the show on Netflix, I binge watched the 2 seasons available during this weekend, considering I'm enjoiying vacation from my work here in Brazil. I loved it and it interested me in talking about it somewhere. This is probably a long post, and full of spoilers for those still watching the show, so I recommend reading this only after finishing the first 2 seasons.
Cobra Kai is amazing, it revives a famous franchise, giving it a modern touch, while keeping the heart of what made Karate Kid famous: it is still a coming of age tale of students heavily influenced by Karate and their masters, but, this time, Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence are the Masters, which isn't enough to keep them to do stupid shit every couple of episodes.
Overall, the series is better that the film series in every aspect, only lacking, unfortunately, the physical presence of greatest character of them all, Mr. Miyagi, due to Pat Morita's passing a long time ago. Miyagi, however, is frequently mentioned, and his influence on the story is massive. The characters in Cobra Kai tends to present more dimensions than the film counterparts, and the focus is on Johnny Lawrence, which is so well rounded and masterfully played by William Zabka, that he always outshines Daniel LaRusso, also played nicely by Ralph Macchio. Those 2 characters are not divided by good/evil archetypes anymore, and seeing Lawrence evolving into an anti-hero, while LaRusso shows that he isn't a perfect person is really captivating. The interaction of the 2 are always my favorite parts of any episodes that I watched, especially when they show some relationship development, frequently on the latter part of each season.
The teenagers shown have their highs and lows, specially in writing. My highlights include Miguel Diaz, which is very well performed by Xolo Maridueña; and Hawk, which may not be the most loved character, due to his development into a bully, but, for me, Jacob Bertrand's acting might be the best of the series outside of Zabka's Lawrence. Initially I thought that Diaz would be kind of annoying, but his arc is very well developed, and he grows into a very well rounded character, on the edge between what Cobra Kai used to be and what Lawrence is learning as a person as he gets older and wiser.
On the other side, Samantha LaRusso's development reminds me a lot, unfortunately, of Friday Night Lights' Julie Tayler, daughter of Coach Taylor, and who is, in the beginning, a nice mature character, that gets progressively more annoying. I think it is to the fact that her relationship with Miguel was better, for me, than watching her with Robby Keene, definitely my least favorite person among the major ones. Robby was supposed to be developed in a similar fashion to Diaz, but he annoys me. His character robbed the tournament to be a highpoint of Diaz, with technically not winning the tournament in honourable fashion, to being the instigator of most of LaRusso and Lawrence fights, first when he joins Daniel just to piss off Johnny, achieving it just after they had some bonding over rock and roll in maybe on of the fondest moments of the first season, then by dragging Samantha to his father's house, so she wouldn't be punished for doing stupid shit, which insanely becomes a fight between the 2 main characters. His arc from delinquent to good boy was rushed, IMO, and it feels not earned as Miguel's. He has potential to be a good character though, in the future. And for god's sake, lose that stupid hair. It reminds me of Adam, the Black Power Ranger, but on an annoying person.
The side characters also have their good and terrible moments. Daniel's wife is probably one of the greatest female characters I remember. She is a great wife, supports most of his crazy ambitions while keeping him grounded to the reality that he is more than a Karate Sensei, and at the same time is not annoying. She is possibly the most reasonable person in the show. Kreese is back and Martin Kove is just too good of an actor to waste making him just a sideshow for the main guys. He is the perfect villain and I love that Cobra Kai is going into this direction, instead of trying to redeem him. If there is one guy that I don't mind being as he was before, it is Kreese. On the down side, a minor character like Stingray is constantly being pushed to be a comic relief where it is not needed, always feeling forced and unfunny. He trying to bond with Lawrence while trying to sell him a mirror was ok. Trying to insert him as another karate student and into every situation available, just trying some laughs during serious moments (post Diaz vs Hawk/ the School fight) wasn't. And Anthony... Just sent the kid to Europe for a couple of seasons and bring back a different character. I know he is the kid that is enamorated with technology and wouldn't give a shit about Karate (more about that later), but damn he is a garbage character that didn't change a bit and exposes his parents as bad ones at this job. Tory, while hot, is the classic pretty character only introduced to be the love interest of someone in the series. She develops to be more than that, later, but her appearance and timing is so convient to generate more drama to the already meh love triangle of Robby-Sam-Diaz, that I don't actually know how to feel about her. Her fight scenes are cool, though.
And while the show is great at giving popcorn action moments, there are some serious WTF ones right there. During the movies, Cobra Kais were the bullies and did, mostly, what Kyler did to Diaz during the beginning of the Show. During the second season, the fights starts to get so unrealistically epic even for Karate Kid's standards, IMO. A bunch of kids beating the living shit out of each other in the middle of a mall or doing the best impression of Gangs of New York I have seen during a school fight with no legal consequences at all, apparently. Honestly, after all that rumble, maybe Robby will be the only one being punished, and he almost killed, and if this wasn't a more family friendly show, would certainly have crippled Diaz with that last surprise attack. Even then, I'm not sold that something is going to happen, since Hawk went berserk and dropped something like 15 dudes during the fight, and was normally training under Kreese afterwards. I like the fights, but they are getting out of hand and they are almost at super power levels right now. Even Diaz got into trouble, technically, when he protected Sam from Kyler.
And the amount of people doing karate is becoming ridiculous now. It is like there are no other activities in the area other than choose Miyagi Do or Cobra Kai, apparently. Every single major teenager character, aside from Anthony (yuck) and Moon, for now, is training Karate. In the first season, Karate was the differential that made Diaz and Hawk, for example, rise above their insecurities and live in an otherwise toxic enviroment that featured bullies like Kyler and Yasmine. Season 2 features two factions and everything is about Cobra Kai vs Miyagi Do. The show had more to offer other than Karate, in season 1, than its follow up. Maybe that is why moments like Johnny hitting on girls on Tinder, dancing salsa with Carmen after bonding with Daniel or meeting his old Cobra Kai pals, including a dying one, feels like home runs for me. I really want more of character development without having to resort to combat for that, with Diaz injury/rehab, there is a big possibility there of Johnny being less focused on karate on season 3, leaving Miyagi Do to fight off Kreese for at least part of the season.
Overall, this is an amazing show, possibly the best I watched in a long time. Zabka is honestly deserving of some awards for his acting, alongside with his character being such a funny, multi-dimensional evolution of a teenage villain in the 80s. Ralph Macchio does an amazing job as LaRusso, but I wouldn't mind him embracing more the secondary role to Lawrence in the series, like it was in season 1, since his character feels much more finished as Zabka's. His role was bigger in season 2, but at the cost of Diaz/Lawrence moments that made season 1 better, while forcing Robby and Sam interactions, because now he was also a sensei. He is the perfect counterpart to Johnny Lawrence, but I feel now it is time for Johnny to shine, more than ever.
I have great hopes for season 3, and I'm very happy to have finally found another coming of age series that is engaging to me. The last one was Red Oaks, on Amazon. I was going to write my thought about each character, individually, but the post was already giant, so maybe another time.
submitted by Wesley-Snipers to cobrakai [link] [comments]


2020.09.04 02:10 BadaBoomBabay Небольшая подборка не главнх, но интересных новостей за первые три дня осени:

🚙 В Японии протестировали летающий автомобиль с человеком на борту
Японская компания SkyDrive впервые провела публичный демонстрационный полет летающего автомобиля SD-03. Тестовый полет прототипа состоялся 25 августа на испытательном полигоне компании Toyota площадью 10 тысяч квадратных метров. Одноместный SD-03 кружил над полем около четырех минут. По словам генерального директора SkyDrive, прототип может стать реальным продуктом уже в 2023 году.
🙏🏻 Папуасы попросили патриарха Кирилла открыть православную миссию в Папуа — Новой Гвинее
Обращение местных жителей началось еще зимой 2020 года, отметили в фонде имени Миклухо-Маклая: в январе и феврале на остров прибыл настоятель прихода Воздвижения Креста Господня в Тайбэе, иерей Кирилл Шкарбуль. Он посетил провинцию Восточный Сепик, где обратил в православие целый клан местных — общей сложностью порядка тысячи человек из нескольких сел. Пастырская ответственность РПЦ начала распространяться на Папуа — Новую Гвинею в конце прошлой недели после расширения ее Священным синодом. 96% населения этой страны и так являются адептами различных христианских конфессий. Многие из них совмещают веру в Христа с местными традиционными верованиями.
📦 Amazon получила разрешение на коммерческую доставку товаров дронами в США
Федеральное управление гражданской авиации США (FAA) разрешило компании начать расширенное тестирование доставки посылок беспилотниками. Отмечается, что сертификация не означает немедленной массовой доставки грузов адресатам по воздуху, но компания сможет в перспективе начать оказывать эту услугу на коммерческой основе. Ранее такое же разрешение получили UPS и Wing от Alphabet. До конца 2020 года FAA должна доработать правила, по которым дроны смогут осуществлять доставку в городах. Сами компании должны будут придумать, как запрограммировать дронов на полёты по маршрутам без постоянного контроля со стороны испытателей.
😿 В Твери застрелили кота-библиотекаря. Он был «SMM-мяунджером» и символом местной библиотеки
Кот Степан был официально трудоустроен в библиотеке, у него даже была своя трудовая книжка. «SMM-мяунджер» каждый день приходил на работу к открытию (он жил у хозяйки и прибегал в библиотеку самостоятельно) и принимал участие в жизни библиотеки — правда, выражалось это по большей части в ласках от посетителей. В конце августа кот пропал, и сотрудники библиотеки размещали об этом объявления и посты в соцсетях. 29 августа стало известно, что кота застрелили. По словам очевидцев, это произошло из‑за того, что кот якобы гадил в подъезде.
🪁 На Тайване гигантский воздушный змей унес в небо трехлетнюю девочку
На Тайване в городе Нанлиоао проводили фестиваль воздушных змеев. Девочка запуталась в тросах и поднялась вверх на несколько метров. Она сделала в воздухе несколько оборотов, после чего змея все-таки смогли притянуть на землю, где ребенка поймали взрослые. Посетители фестиваля сработали очень слаженно: пока одни ловили ребенка, другие притягивали змея, чтобы он снова не взлетел. Девочка испугалась, но не получила никаких травм.
🤭 В Британиии открылась вакансия голого водителя
Возможность подзаработать для человека, который не прочь водить автомобиль голышом, разместила пара английских нудистов. От водителя требуется приехать к паре домой голышом, загрузить вещи, отвезти их в другой дом и разгрузить машину, однако нанять они планируют только того человека, который разделяет их взгляды. За столь экзотическое выполнение работы обещают заплатить 2 тысячи фунтов (около 197 тысяч рублей).
📺 Газета The New York Times впервые за 80 лет вышла без телепрограммы
Редактор по культуре Гилберт Круз объяснил решение об исключении телепрограммы тем, что настало время цифровых аналогов, и телесеть больше не отражает картину потребления контента зрителями. «Раньше вы пролистывали телегид и говорили: «Боже мой, на этой неделе этот фильм транслируют по обычному кабелю!» Но теперь это же популярное шоу доступно на Netflix, когда бы вы ни захотели его посмотреть», — добавил Круз.
🤪 Израильские ученые предложили фекалии в качестве способа не поправиться после диеты
Исследователи Университета Бен-Гуриона придумали, как сохранить вес после диеты и не поправиться снова — для этого потребуется принимать капсулы, в состав которых входит собственный кал. Команда предполагает, что вес удастся сохранить, если человек в процессе похудения изменит состав бактерий, входящих в его микробиом. Когда это произойдет, у него можно взять кал с обновленным микробиомом, обработать посев бактерий и поместить внутрь капсул. Сами капсулы при этом безвкусны и не будут иметь запаха.
🖼 В британском музее предположительно нашли подлинник Рембрандта
Картина «Голова бородатого мужчины» почти 70 лет хранилась в Эшмолеанском музее искусства и археологии, так как первоначально специалисты посчитали ее подделкой под кисть мастера. Работа так бы и осталась в архиве, если бы на нее не обратила внимание Эн ван Кэмп, куратор и глава отдела искусства Северной Европы музея, которая участвовала в подготовке выставки Рембрандта, открывшейся в феврале 2020 года. Ван Кэмп сразу отметила, что портрет характерен для Рембрандта: «Он очень похож на другие полотна мастера, особенно на те, что были созданы в Лейдене около 1630 года. Рембрандт часто писал меланхоличных стариков с задумчивым взглядом».
⛲️ В фонтане бельгийского города Вервье нашли сердце его первого мэра
Сердце находилось в банке со спиртом, которая, в свою очередь, была помещена в небольшую шкатулку, выполненную из цинка. На шкатулке нашли гравировку: «Сердце Пьера Давида было торжественно помещено в монумент 25 июня 1883 года». По словам заведующего департамента общественных работ Вервье Максима Дежэ, шкатулка более века находилась в верхней части фонтана, прямо возле бюста Давида. При проведении ремонта памятника рабочие отодвинули камень, который загораживал ее все это время. Сейчас шкатулка находится в городском музее изобразительных искусств. Её нахождение подтвердило старую городскую легенду о том, что в центре городка в прямом смысле хранится человеческое сердце.
🤦‍♀️ Опрос: менее половины россиян знают год начала Второй мировой войны
По данным ВЦИОМ, лишь 33% россиян смогли верно назвать год начала Второй мировой войны — 1939. При этом тот или иной ответ на вопрос дали 87% опрошенных. 54% опрошенных посчитали, что Вторая мировая началась в 1941 году. Отмечается, что в основном правильно смогли ответить граждане от 18 до 24 лет. В опросе приняли участие 1600 россиян, которых опрашивали по телефону.
🎥 В России предпродажи билетов на премьеру «Довода» Кристофера Нолана превысили все киносборы за июнь
Предварительные продажи билетов на фантастический боевик режиссера Кристофера Нолана «Довод» к утру 2 сентября достигли 7,6 млн рублей. Это на 29% больше общей суммы кассовых сборов всех российских кинотеатров в июне, подавляющая часть которых была закрыта из-за коронавируса. Премьера фильма в РФ намечена на 3 сентября.
🎉 Известный иллюзионист исполнил первый трюк за 10 лет: иллюзионист поднялся на высоту 7000 метров на воздушных шарах
Трюк, исполненный Дэвидом Блейном, называется «Вознесение». Перед стартом иллюзионист рассказал, почему вообще захотел поучаствовать в «Вознесении». После рождения дочери Дессы он решил, что больше не будет заниматься страшными трюками. Но, по его мнению, «Вознесение» — не про страх, а про красоту. Это своего рода исполнение детской мечты подняться в небо на воздушных шариках. Трюк в течение 10 лет готовили каскадеры и эксперты по полетам, погоде и скайдайвингу.
🚀 В США два пилота сообщили о загадочном человеке с реактивным ранцем, пролетевшем вблизи самолетов
Вечером 30 августа пилот с рейса авиакомпании American Airlines уведомил диспетчеров о том, что «только что пролетел мимо парня с реактивным ранцем». По словам летчика, мужчина летел на высоте примерно 3 тысячи футов (900 метров) над землей и всего в 300 метрах от самолета. Вскоре об увиденном сообщил и экипаж компании Skywest: «Мы только что видели парня, пролетевшего мимо нас в реактивном ранце». После этого диспетчеры предупредили о необходимости соблюдать осторожность и другие лайнеры. Федеральное управление гражданской авиации США (FAA) связалось с полицией, но пока власти не обнаружили ни человека с реактивным ранцем, ни что-либо другое приближавшееся к самолетам. Расследование продолжается.
🐶 В США мальчик собрал 315 тысяч долларов, чтобы купить бронежилеты полицейским собакам
Вместе с мамой Брэйди основал благотворительный фонд Brady’s K9 Fund, который занимается сбором средств на покупку пуленепробиваемых жилетов для полицейских и военных собак. Кроме того, мальчик завел страницу на краудфандинговой платформе GoFundMe — так он собрал деньги на первые четыре жилета. Сейчас благодаря стараниям Брэйди 257 собак, несущих службу в США, Канаде и даже в Афганистане, защищены от пуль.
🍁 «ВКонтакте» стала предупреждать пользователей о шутках про 3 сентября
«ВКонтакте объявила себя территорией, свободной от шуток о третьем сентября. Соцсеть защитит пользователей от упоминаний известной песни Михаила Шуфутинского: в умной ленте новостей все записи со строчками из нее будут отмечены специальным предупреждением. Так ВКонтакте позаботится о людях, которые устали от повторяющегося из года в год юмора, который заполняет интернет», — говорится в сообщении.
🙅‍♂️ Tinder заблокировали в Пакистане из-за «аморального» контента
Блокировке дейтинговых приложений в Пакистане предшествовал запрет в июле многопользовательской онлайн-игры PUBG и платформы для ведения прямых эфиров BIBO Live. YouTube оставался заблокированным в стране в 2012—2016 гг. По данным аналитической компании Sensor Tower, за последний год Tinder в Пакистане скачали более 440 тыс. раз. Приложения для знакомств Grindr, Tagged и SayHi загрузили примерно по 300 тыс. раз каждый.
💰 Бывшая жена основателя Amazon стала самой богатой женщиной в мире
А в общем списке самых богатых Маккензи Скотт заняла 12-е место, после того, как ее состояние увеличилось на $630 млн. Общую сумму Bloomberg оценивает в $68 млрд. Возглавляет рейтинг по‑прежнему сам Безос. До этого самой богатой женщиной мира была владелица L'Oréal Франсуаза Бетанкур-Майер, которая опустилась на 13-е место в глобальном списке миллиардеров с состоянием $66,8 млрд. Тройку лидеров богатейших женщин замыкает дочь основателя корпорации Walmart Элис Уолтон ($63,6 млрд, 16-е место в рейтинге миллиардеров Bloomberg).
🐰 Семейство рекордсменов: сын крупнейшего кролика в мире стал конкурентом своего отца в борьбе за это звание
В 2010 году кролик Дариус весил 22 килограмма, и ему не было равных на всем свете. Он даже попал в книгу рекордов Гиннесса: его признали самым большим кроликом в мире. В прошлом году у Дариуса, который живет в семье Вудкок, родился сын Дэйв. И, похоже, он готов сместить отца с пьедестала: он уже весит 25 килограммов при росте 120 сантиметров.
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2020.08.27 21:58 condescendingcanuck Almost 10 years of working in IT as a high-school dropout. Here's what I've learned.

I went right from high school to a job in IT. From there I lied my way into as many roles as I could, until my resume was undeniably great. My skills of course blossomed in the first few years of working in IT.
So far I've worked in quite a few places such as : Toronto, Vancouver, Tokyo, Dubai, London and Manchester
Here's the real deal, no bullshit truth about working in IT.
Hope this long ass post helped someone!
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2020.08.24 15:27 dataiskings How to create the perfect Tinder profile

When Liam moved to Manchester from south Wales in 2017, he thought he was doing it for lasting love. Dating his girlfriend long distance for over a year, he found a job as a prison officer and moved north to be with her. But after a year he found himself single again and hasn’t managed to date anyone seriously since. He desperately wants a committed, long-term relationship, but is struggling to make it past consistent hook-ups.
When Holly’s relationship fell apart a few months ago, she left London after 13 years of living there, moving with her brand-new dachshund puppy to her hometown of Hastings. But trying to date other women in Hastings has proved less than fruitful.
Dan’s life in London has been pretty good. A graphic designer, just finishing his masters at UCL, he’s got most of it figured out. But at 29, he’s realised that the gay clubbing scene is making it more difficult to meet romantic partners with whom he really connects and is struggling to find someone to date for more than a couple months.
While all three of these people are in vastly situations, one thing unites them: they all absolutely despise their online dating profiles. From Tinder to Bumble to Her to Hinge, they feel cringed-out, awkward and unfulfilled by how they present themselves and feel their dating profile is holding them back.
This is a major problem for online daters. You can be charming, funny and genuinely interesting, but when it comes to writing a bio your mind can go blank. It’s hard to make profiles read the same (see: “I love gin!”, “My pet peeve is slow walkers”) and it’s hard to make your real self stand out. In the US, dating profile styling agencies are even starting to pop up, where people can pay to have this increasingly common dating problem professionally solved. But for those who don’t have hundreds to shell out on professionals, the question still persists: what do you need to do to make your dating profile better?
Liam, Dan and Holly have gotten this question answered. Working with three romantic professionals – a relationships therapist, a dating expert and a professional advertising creative – they have willingly handed over their profiles, histories, and insecurities to be molded into a more authentic version of themselves and get desperately needed news on how to make their dating profile dateable.
The datersLiam
The basics: 28 years old, Welsh, straight, prison officer. Describes himself as a regular guy, interested in sport, going out with his friends, spending time with his family and looking after his dog, Jasper.
Dating history: Has had three serious relationships and says that all of them petered out at the same time – around the two-year mark.
Dating profile description: Mostly selfies, mostly taken in dark rooms, one topless, mostly bordering on scary faces. Bio reads, “I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing / Beards make the world go round / Never watched Game Of Thrones, which is apparently a huge deal? / Welsh boy trespassing in the North, tryna not get kicked out after Brexit...”
Dating problems: Liam’s problem is two-fold. Although his job as a prisoner officer is interesting, it’s not something that defines him – however, it’s the only thing on dating apps that women seem to be interested in talking about. His second problem is that, when he does meet people, there’s miscommunication about what each other wants and he ends up thinking it’s becoming serious when all she wants is something casual.
Looking for: A serious relationship. “What’s the point in having fun if there’s nobody there when you have a rubbish day at work? Who’s there to share your good and bad days, your achievements? Who’s there to pick you up when you’re down? And, ideally, that’s what I’m after. Something real. Something proper.”
Holly
The basics: 31 years old, English, bisexual, working-from-home office manager, dachshund dog mum. Describes herself as multifaceted – funny, smart, well-read and interested in everything from politics to the Kardashians.
Dating history: Has had two serious relationships, one with a man and one with a woman, but is looking to just date women for the time being.
Dating profile description: Mostly close-up selfies, one picture with her dog. Bio reads, “Office manager by day, mum to a mini sausage all the time / Love long conversations, walks with the pup, binge watching Netflix, exploring bars and restaurants, blogging / Looking to meet someone to enjoy my next thing with!”
Dating problems: Holly has paralysis when it comes to talking about herself in a positive way and is terrified of coming off as boastful, cringey or cocky. “I’m down to earth, have a great personality, and I'm quite an all-rounded person. But explaining that to somebody in a few short sentences, to catch somebody's interest and not come off like an absolute knob, is really hard!”
Looking for: Nothing too serious, but someone to actually connect with.
Dan
The basics: 29 years old, half-English, half-Paraguayan, gay, graphic designer, master's student in urban studies. Describes himself as outgoing and adventurous and knows his own self-worth, but he’s growing increasingly tired of dating via the club scene.
Dating history: Has had three boyfriends, none lasting longer than nine months, and has only been on five or six “real dates” in his whole life.
Dating profile description: Mostly semi-ironic bad selfies, two topless, one picture of himself out cycling, one picture with a friend. Bio reads, “Happy, creative, driven, calm and introspective / Once had a full-blown 20-minute argument with Boris Johnson whilst cycling to work / I’m a student with a research interest in queer space, cycling and community-led projects / I’m also a graphic designer on the side. Sometimes an art school tutor. Sometimes a van man / Half-English, half-Paraguayan, born in Hastings / 5’10”.”
Dating problems: Dan is afraid that his profile isn’t drawing in the right person. He thinks he’s more interesting than his profile indicates and doesn’t convey his personality and, therefore, isn’t matching with guys he will actually connect with. He wants his profile to make him appear like someone dateable, not just someone to sleep with.
Looking for: Dating people who he might genuinely get on with, with the possibility for something more serious. “I would like to find guys who are suited to me. And by communicating what I am or who I am in a better way on my dating profile, I might attract the right kind of guys.”
The experts weigh inThe relationships therapist
Sally Baker is a relationships therapist who has appeared on the BBC, in the Observer and in New York Magazine. She says almost all daters do their dating profiles wrong: setting their own personal pitch to low.
“Online dating can be particularly challenging if the person writing their profile isn’t sure what they want for themselves,” Sally says. “Their ambivalence can make their profile read as wishy-washy or uninspiring. Profiles that are written without clarity usually mean you attract the kind of people that aren’t right for you either on a casual basis or for something more serious and long term.
“Of course, it's not about being egotistical or showing off either, as that’s just another kind of knob-head behaviour,” she adds. “It is, however, about describing yourself and what you want in a real, approachable way that would resonate with the right people for you.”
Sally takes all three daters through an exercise she does with all her clients, called “Perfect Day”, getting them to describe what their perfect day would look like, from the location to the activities to with whom that perfect day would ideally be spent. Sally encourages her clients to forget about realistic boundaries and to “dream big” about what their day would look like. “This is so if you only achieve half of what you want in your perfect day it will still be amazing,” she says.
Liam’s perfect day is actually pretty simple: nice meals, walking his dog, spending time with his family and skydiving for the first time. But despite his intense interest in being in a serious, romantic relationship, his day doesn’t mention a partner at all. Instead, it mentions dating as happening the night before and meeting potential prospects at random points between other activities.
“In reality, he seems very much of the casual dating mindset,” Sally says. “He is intrigued by seeing who catches his eye. For sure his day was bookended with the afterglow of a great date and included possibilities with a new woman he met. However, the women mentioned were peripheral to his main story.”
Sally believes that Liam needs to change up his dating profile and whole dating approach; to be less focused on finding a long-term commitment and shifting his profile to encourage something less intense. “I feel that the more comfortable he is taking his time and meeting a variety of partners without putting himself under any commitment pressures, the sooner he will gain clarity about what he needs for himself and bring his life into greater balance,” Sally argues. “When he has greater clarity, he'll find the right woman for him.”
Holly’s day, while similarly simple – nice meals, drinks and dinner with friends, trips to the beach, playing with the dog – lays out huge signposts for something more serious: a long-standing, committed relationship, emotional and physical intimacy and even mentions exploring parenthood at the end of the day.
“Holly is ready for the next stage of her life more than her profile alludes to,” Sally says. “She is ready to meet her significant other and embrace all the possibilities that could bring for her and her partner, including starting their own family.”
Sally believes that Holly’s profile could shout more about herself. “Her profile should show more about how she feels successful in many areas of her life and she can also rightly say how proud she is with the life she’s made for herself. From this place of feeling grounded and content in who she is, she recognises what's missing for her now is the love of her life and that’s who she’s looking for.”
Dan’s perfect day is the most elaborate: living in an apartment in Barcelona, cycling to a lake and going freshwater swimming, drinks with friends, a spontaneous trip out to a warehouse party and staying out until 8am. Sally believes that this excitement, colour and adventurousness should be relayed in Dan’s profile, which, at the moment, reads more like a CV.
“Specifying Latin heritage, or how much he enjoys the way of life in places like Barcelona, could be added to his profile,” Sally says. “I don’t know how Dan would feel about niching down his profile to say exactly what he wants – I think he should. Other people aren’t psychic so sometimes you need to put what you want out there in a straightforward way and see what happens.”
The dating expert
Dami Olonisakin, better known as Oloni, is a dating expert and sex blogger who has been consulting on relationships for the past ten years. She is known for her viral Twitter threads, in which she anonymously shares her readers’ wildest sex stories, as well as her podcast, Laid Bare, which has a listernership reaching the six-figure mark. She also has a dating show coming out with BBC Three at the end of this year called My Mates Are Bad Dates, in which she will consult terrible daters on how to do dating better.
“Whew, people are really bad at taking photos,” she tells me after looking at the three daters’ profiles. Liam, specifically, she thinks needs a major change-up. “There's been research that shows that dating profiles that usually do well are those who basically show off that they're either athletic or that they're into the gym or that they like to keep fit. So if he loves his sport, he needs photos of himself where he's at a match or something, to show that side of him... rather than the dark, gory photos that he's got and sharing that he's a prison officer.”
Oloni agrees that many of Liam’s dating app problems stem from him revealing his job title. “He needs to tone down what he does,” she says, “and when it comes to a job like that, it's not really something you should be screaming about on the internet anyway. Dating profiles are supposed to be fun and quirky, so he needs to show that he’s an outgoing person. It's not supposed to be taken too seriously and he needs to remember that.”
Alongside better pictures – “they all need better photos” – Oloni thinks that Holly is being way too vague in her profile. “She needs to show us a bit more of her personality,” she says. “If she’s well-rounded, if she’s multifaceted, she needs to show that.”
Oloni notes Holly’s apprehension about coming off arrogant or boastful and says that, while it’s entirely normal to hype yourself on your profile, there are some easy ways to signpost features of your personality without blatantly bragging about your best traits.
“If she wants to show us that she's smart, she can probably share that she's a ‘booklover’,” Oloni argues. “No different from someone who's sharing their love for the arts saying that they love going to the movies or that they watched 300 films. I think she just needs to find ways to get it across without saying, ‘I am funny ha ha ha.’ If you're funny, say something that you find hilarious. It can be one-liners, for example, that she feels comfortable expressing. Simply sharing a joke that's not OTT.”
When it comes to Dan’s profile issues, Oloni summarises quite succinctly: “This isn’t your Instagram bio, this is a dating profile.” Dan’s problem she argues, is that he simply lists basic biographical information about himself rather than revealing things about himself that show why he could be a good date – or even an interesting person to get to know.
“He needs to put a bit more effort into his dating profile and to switch things up,” she tells me. “Tell us something interesting about you. What's a fun fact about yourself? What are your interests? What are your hobbies? Put a bit more effort in and you can basically attract someone with the same hobbies or interests.”
“He needs to put more effort in with photos as well,” Oloni says. “He needs to take better photos, find photos of himself where he's gone on holiday. He needs to ask himself as well, if he saw his own dating profile, would he think that person is serious about dating? Not a commitment, but even just looking to date properly and seeing if it could go somewhere, or do they think that that person would just be down to fuck? What would he think? You know, you can tell when you look at a person's profile if they're quite serious or if they're looking to date or if they're just there for a hook-up. You can kind of get that. So he needs to ask himself what is this reflecting? And just give himself a total brand-new start.”
The advertiser
Charlie Palmer is a Planner at Uncommon – a creative agency in London that has worked with brands such as ITV, the World Wildlife Fund and YouTube. “A dating profile, like an advert, has a specific goal,” he tells me. “It has a specific behaviour it wants to promote. In this case, the goal is just to start a conversation. That’s the furthest the profile can get you – after that, your actual personality has to take over. The profile doesn’t get you a girlfriend, or even a date. There’s no point trying to say loads of different things in your Tinder bio.”
With that in mind, he says Liam has several major issues. “Liam needs to simplify that bio,” Charlie argues. “Communicating one thing well is better than communicating four things badly. People are looking through hundreds of profiles – they don’t care enough to read a list of stuff.
“The selfies are a problem on a few levels,” he also says. “Liam’s a very sociable guy, but his profile looks like he doesn’t have any mates to take photos of him. It looks like far too much effort has gone into taking selfies specifically to put on the profile, and, most importantly, a selfie taken in your bedroom is a conversational non-starter.”
Like the other professionals, Charlie argues that Holly needs to sell herself a bit more. “Holly’s profile feels a little like she’s trying to persuade people on the app that she’s good enough for them,” he says. “But she should try the opposite. You want people to be doubting whether they’re good enough for you.”
Charlie says that Holly needs to inject a bit more personality into her bio. “Her bio should be less like a shop window with a sale on and more like a club with a massive (but friendly) bouncer on the door. She should try baby steps to begin with, like, ‘If you don’t like dachshunds this isn’t going to work’ or ‘I have strong views on the Kardashians.’” He also thinks less staged, more candid pictures could go a long way. “Nobody likes an advert that feels like an advert. Everyone likes an advert that feels like an exclusive invitation.”
Dan’s profile, Charlie says, reads too much like a dispassionate list of his features. “Dan needs to show rather than tell,” he tells me. “On paper, it does the job, but he needs to think about his audience a bit more. The profile is designed to give an idea of what it’s like to hang out with you. It’s not a list of qualifications.”
He says that Dan’s pictures could do more to convey his personality too. “If he has photos of himself in context, he should use more of them,” Charlie argues. “He’s listed lots of attributes and interests in the bio that aren’t coming through in the pictures, and the vast majority of communication is visual. It’s particularly difficult to get an idea of what you’re like when you’ve got the same expression in every photo. Mix it up a bit for a more rounded profile.”
Finally, Charlie suggests Dan appeals to the emotional side of his personality to make his profile read less like a CV. “The best advertising is emotional not rational – focus on how you want your profile to feel, not just the things it describes. If you’re funny, be funny. If you’re charming, be charming. What you say or show matters less than how you say it or show it.”
In conclusion
Dating cannot be mastered with just a good profile, and a good profile doesn’t mean you’ve mastered a dating app. Without a decent opening line, an ability to converse like a normal human being and the grace to ask to meet someone IRL without sounding like a serial killer, daters will struggle to get anywhere online. But in order to get to any of those points, a good profile is a necessity, and for Liam, Dan and Holly, theirs can be dramatically – and expertly – improved. And while it may not guarantee that they’ll find the person of their dreams, it is a good, and perhaps the only, place to start. CLICK HERE TO SEE A VIDEO PRESENTATION
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2020.08.24 15:07 dataiskings How to create the perfect Tinder profile

When Liam moved to Manchester from south Wales in 2017, he thought he was doing it for lasting love. Dating his girlfriend long distance for over a year, he found a job as a prison officer and moved north to be with her. But after a year he found himself single again and hasn’t managed to date anyone seriously since. He desperately wants a committed, long-term relationship, but is struggling to make it past consistent hook-ups.
When Holly’s relationship fell apart a few months ago, she left London after 13 years of living there, moving with her brand-new dachshund puppy to her hometown of Hastings. But trying to date other women in Hastings has proved less than fruitful.
Dan’s life in London has been pretty good. A graphic designer, just finishing his masters at UCL, he’s got most of it figured out. But at 29, he’s realised that the gay clubbing scene is making it more difficult to meet romantic partners with whom he really connects and is struggling to find someone to date for more than a couple months.
While all three of these people are in vastly situations, one thing unites them: they all absolutely despise their online dating profiles. From Tinder to Bumble to Her to Hinge, they feel cringed-out, awkward and unfulfilled by how they present themselves and feel their dating profile is holding them back.
This is a major problem for online daters. You can be charming, funny and genuinely interesting, but when it comes to writing a bio your mind can go blank. It’s hard to make profiles read the same (see: “I love gin!”, “My pet peeve is slow walkers”) and it’s hard to make your real self stand out. In the US, dating profile styling agencies are even starting to pop up, where people can pay to have this increasingly common dating problem professionally solved. But for those who don’t have hundreds to shell out on professionals, the question still persists: what do you need to do to make your dating profile better?
Liam, Dan and Holly have gotten this question answered. Working with three romantic professionals – a relationships therapist, a dating expert and a professional advertising creative – they have willingly handed over their profiles, histories, and insecurities to be molded into a more authentic version of themselves and get desperately needed news on how to make their dating profile dateable.
The datersLiam
The basics: 28 years old, Welsh, straight, prison officer. Describes himself as a regular guy, interested in sport, going out with his friends, spending time with his family and looking after his dog, Jasper.
Dating history: Has had three serious relationships and says that all of them petered out at the same time – around the two-year mark.
Dating profile description: Mostly selfies, mostly taken in dark rooms, one topless, mostly bordering on scary faces. Bio reads, “I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing / Beards make the world go round / Never watched Game Of Thrones, which is apparently a huge deal? / Welsh boy trespassing in the North, tryna not get kicked out after Brexit...”
Dating problems: Liam’s problem is two-fold. Although his job as a prisoner officer is interesting, it’s not something that defines him – however, it’s the only thing on dating apps that women seem to be interested in talking about. His second problem is that, when he does meet people, there’s miscommunication about what each other wants and he ends up thinking it’s becoming serious when all she wants is something casual.
Looking for: A serious relationship. “What’s the point in having fun if there’s nobody there when you have a rubbish day at work? Who’s there to share your good and bad days, your achievements? Who’s there to pick you up when you’re down? And, ideally, that’s what I’m after. Something real. Something proper.”
Holly
The basics: 31 years old, English, bisexual, working-from-home office manager, dachshund dog mum. Describes herself as multifaceted – funny, smart, well-read and interested in everything from politics to the Kardashians.
Dating history: Has had two serious relationships, one with a man and one with a woman, but is looking to just date women for the time being.
Dating profile description: Mostly close-up selfies, one picture with her dog. Bio reads, “Office manager by day, mum to a mini sausage all the time / Love long conversations, walks with the pup, binge watching Netflix, exploring bars and restaurants, blogging / Looking to meet someone to enjoy my next thing with!”
Dating problems: Holly has paralysis when it comes to talking about herself in a positive way and is terrified of coming off as boastful, cringey or cocky. “I’m down to earth, have a great personality, and I'm quite an all-rounded person. But explaining that to somebody in a few short sentences, to catch somebody's interest and not come off like an absolute knob, is really hard!”
Looking for: Nothing too serious, but someone to actually connect with.
Dan
The basics: 29 years old, half-English, half-Paraguayan, gay, graphic designer, master's student in urban studies. Describes himself as outgoing and adventurous and knows his own self-worth, but he’s growing increasingly tired of dating via the club scene.
Dating history: Has had three boyfriends, none lasting longer than nine months, and has only been on five or six “real dates” in his whole life.
Dating profile description: Mostly semi-ironic bad selfies, two topless, one picture of himself out cycling, one picture with a friend. Bio reads, “Happy, creative, driven, calm and introspective / Once had a full-blown 20-minute argument with Boris Johnson whilst cycling to work / I’m a student with a research interest in queer space, cycling and community-led projects / I’m also a graphic designer on the side. Sometimes an art school tutor. Sometimes a van man / Half-English, half-Paraguayan, born in Hastings / 5’10”.”
Dating problems: Dan is afraid that his profile isn’t drawing in the right person. He thinks he’s more interesting than his profile indicates and doesn’t convey his personality and, therefore, isn’t matching with guys he will actually connect with. He wants his profile to make him appear like someone dateable, not just someone to sleep with.
Looking for: Dating people who he might genuinely get on with, with the possibility for something more serious. “I would like to find guys who are suited to me. And by communicating what I am or who I am in a better way on my dating profile, I might attract the right kind of guys.”
The experts weigh inThe relationships therapist
Sally Baker is a relationships therapist who has appeared on the BBC, in the Observer and in New York Magazine. She says almost all daters do their dating profiles wrong: setting their own personal pitch to low.
“Online dating can be particularly challenging if the person writing their profile isn’t sure what they want for themselves,” Sally says. “Their ambivalence can make their profile read as wishy-washy or uninspiring. Profiles that are written without clarity usually mean you attract the kind of people that aren’t right for you either on a casual basis or for something more serious and long term.
“Of course, it's not about being egotistical or showing off either, as that’s just another kind of knob-head behaviour,” she adds. “It is, however, about describing yourself and what you want in a real, approachable way that would resonate with the right people for you.”
Sally takes all three daters through an exercise she does with all her clients, called “Perfect Day”, getting them to describe what their perfect day would look like, from the location to the activities to with whom that perfect day would ideally be spent. Sally encourages her clients to forget about realistic boundaries and to “dream big” about what their day would look like. “This is so if you only achieve half of what you want in your perfect day it will still be amazing,” she says.
Liam’s perfect day is actually pretty simple: nice meals, walking his dog, spending time with his family and skydiving for the first time. But despite his intense interest in being in a serious, romantic relationship, his day doesn’t mention a partner at all. Instead, it mentions dating as happening the night before and meeting potential prospects at random points between other activities.
“In reality, he seems very much of the casual dating mindset,” Sally says. “He is intrigued by seeing who catches his eye. For sure his day was bookended with the afterglow of a great date and included possibilities with a new woman he met. However, the women mentioned were peripheral to his main story.”
Sally believes that Liam needs to change up his dating profile and whole dating approach; to be less focused on finding a long-term commitment and shifting his profile to encourage something less intense. “I feel that the more comfortable he is taking his time and meeting a variety of partners without putting himself under any commitment pressures, the sooner he will gain clarity about what he needs for himself and bring his life into greater balance,” Sally argues. “When he has greater clarity, he'll find the right woman for him.”
Holly’s day, while similarly simple – nice meals, drinks and dinner with friends, trips to the beach, playing with the dog – lays out huge signposts for something more serious: a long-standing, committed relationship, emotional and physical intimacy and even mentions exploring parenthood at the end of the day.
“Holly is ready for the next stage of her life more than her profile alludes to,” Sally says. “She is ready to meet her significant other and embrace all the possibilities that could bring for her and her partner, including starting their own family.”
Sally believes that Holly’s profile could shout more about herself. “Her profile should show more about how she feels successful in many areas of her life and she can also rightly say how proud she is with the life she’s made for herself. From this place of feeling grounded and content in who she is, she recognises what's missing for her now is the love of her life and that’s who she’s looking for.”
Dan’s perfect day is the most elaborate: living in an apartment in Barcelona, cycling to a lake and going freshwater swimming, drinks with friends, a spontaneous trip out to a warehouse party and staying out until 8am. Sally believes that this excitement, colour and adventurousness should be relayed in Dan’s profile, which, at the moment, reads more like a CV.
“Specifying Latin heritage, or how much he enjoys the way of life in places like Barcelona, could be added to his profile,” Sally says. “I don’t know how Dan would feel about niching down his profile to say exactly what he wants – I think he should. Other people aren’t psychic so sometimes you need to put what you want out there in a straightforward way and see what happens.”
The dating expert
Dami Olonisakin, better known as Oloni, is a dating expert and sex blogger who has been consulting on relationships for the past ten years. She is known for her viral Twitter threads, in which she anonymously shares her readers’ wildest sex stories, as well as her podcast, Laid Bare, which has a listernership reaching the six-figure mark. She also has a dating show coming out with BBC Three at the end of this year called My Mates Are Bad Dates, in which she will consult terrible daters on how to do dating better.
“Whew, people are really bad at taking photos,” she tells me after looking at the three daters’ profiles. Liam, specifically, she thinks needs a major change-up. “There's been research that shows that dating profiles that usually do well are those who basically show off that they're either athletic or that they're into the gym or that they like to keep fit. So if he loves his sport, he needs photos of himself where he's at a match or something, to show that side of him... rather than the dark, gory photos that he's got and sharing that he's a prison officer.”
Oloni agrees that many of Liam’s dating app problems stem from him revealing his job title. “He needs to tone down what he does,” she says, “and when it comes to a job like that, it's not really something you should be screaming about on the internet anyway. Dating profiles are supposed to be fun and quirky, so he needs to show that he’s an outgoing person. It's not supposed to be taken too seriously and he needs to remember that.”
Alongside better pictures – “they all need better photos” – Oloni thinks that Holly is being way too vague in her profile. “She needs to show us a bit more of her personality,” she says. “If she’s well-rounded, if she’s multifaceted, she needs to show that.”
Oloni notes Holly’s apprehension about coming off arrogant or boastful and says that, while it’s entirely normal to hype yourself on your profile, there are some easy ways to signpost features of your personality without blatantly bragging about your best traits.
“If she wants to show us that she's smart, she can probably share that she's a ‘booklover’,” Oloni argues. “No different from someone who's sharing their love for the arts saying that they love going to the movies or that they watched 300 films. I think she just needs to find ways to get it across without saying, ‘I am funny ha ha ha.’ If you're funny, say something that you find hilarious. It can be one-liners, for example, that she feels comfortable expressing. Simply sharing a joke that's not OTT.”
When it comes to Dan’s profile issues, Oloni summarises quite succinctly: “This isn’t your Instagram bio, this is a dating profile.” Dan’s problem she argues, is that he simply lists basic biographical information about himself rather than revealing things about himself that show why he could be a good date – or even an interesting person to get to know.
“He needs to put a bit more effort into his dating profile and to switch things up,” she tells me. “Tell us something interesting about you. What's a fun fact about yourself? What are your interests? What are your hobbies? Put a bit more effort in and you can basically attract someone with the same hobbies or interests.”
“He needs to put more effort in with photos as well,” Oloni says. “He needs to take better photos, find photos of himself where he's gone on holiday. He needs to ask himself as well, if he saw his own dating profile, would he think that person is serious about dating? Not a commitment, but even just looking to date properly and seeing if it could go somewhere, or do they think that that person would just be down to fuck? What would he think? You know, you can tell when you look at a person's profile if they're quite serious or if they're looking to date or if they're just there for a hook-up. You can kind of get that. So he needs to ask himself what is this reflecting? And just give himself a total brand-new start.”
The advertiser
Charlie Palmer is a Planner at Uncommon – a creative agency in London that has worked with brands such as ITV, the World Wildlife Fund and YouTube. “A dating profile, like an advert, has a specific goal,” he tells me. “It has a specific behaviour it wants to promote. In this case, the goal is just to start a conversation. That’s the furthest the profile can get you – after that, your actual personality has to take over. The profile doesn’t get you a girlfriend, or even a date. There’s no point trying to say loads of different things in your Tinder bio.”
With that in mind, he says Liam has several major issues. “Liam needs to simplify that bio,” Charlie argues. “Communicating one thing well is better than communicating four things badly. People are looking through hundreds of profiles – they don’t care enough to read a list of stuff.
“The selfies are a problem on a few levels,” he also says. “Liam’s a very sociable guy, but his profile looks like he doesn’t have any mates to take photos of him. It looks like far too much effort has gone into taking selfies specifically to put on the profile, and, most importantly, a selfie taken in your bedroom is a conversational non-starter.”
Like the other professionals, Charlie argues that Holly needs to sell herself a bit more. “Holly’s profile feels a little like she’s trying to persuade people on the app that she’s good enough for them,” he says. “But she should try the opposite. You want people to be doubting whether they’re good enough for you.”
Charlie says that Holly needs to inject a bit more personality into her bio. “Her bio should be less like a shop window with a sale on and more like a club with a massive (but friendly) bouncer on the door. She should try baby steps to begin with, like, ‘If you don’t like dachshunds this isn’t going to work’ or ‘I have strong views on the Kardashians.’” He also thinks less staged, more candid pictures could go a long way. “Nobody likes an advert that feels like an advert. Everyone likes an advert that feels like an exclusive invitation.”
Dan’s profile, Charlie says, reads too much like a dispassionate list of his features. “Dan needs to show rather than tell,” he tells me. “On paper, it does the job, but he needs to think about his audience a bit more. The profile is designed to give an idea of what it’s like to hang out with you. It’s not a list of qualifications.”
He says that Dan’s pictures could do more to convey his personality too. “If he has photos of himself in context, he should use more of them,” Charlie argues. “He’s listed lots of attributes and interests in the bio that aren’t coming through in the pictures, and the vast majority of communication is visual. It’s particularly difficult to get an idea of what you’re like when you’ve got the same expression in every photo. Mix it up a bit for a more rounded profile.”
Finally, Charlie suggests Dan appeals to the emotional side of his personality to make his profile read less like a CV. “The best advertising is emotional not rational – focus on how you want your profile to feel, not just the things it describes. If you’re funny, be funny. If you’re charming, be charming. What you say or show matters less than how you say it or show it.”
In conclusion
Dating cannot be mastered with just a good profile, and a good profile doesn’t mean you’ve mastered a dating app. Without a decent opening line, an ability to converse like a normal human being and the grace to ask to meet someone IRL without sounding like a serial killer, daters will struggle to get anywhere online. But in order to get to any of those points, a good profile is a necessity, and for Liam, Dan and Holly, theirs can be dramatically – and expertly – improved. And while it may not guarantee that they’ll find the person of their dreams, it is a good, and perhaps the only, place to start. CLICK HERE TO SEE A VIDEO PRESENTATION
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2020.08.19 20:15 removalbot 08-19 18:15 - 'PSA: Watch out for girls from Tinder who like fashion, investing and other random things. HAPPENING TO ME TOO RIGHT NOW :(' (self.Bitcoin) by /u/IfUDontKnowNowUKnow9 removed from /r/Bitcoin within 29-39min

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This is my first time on reddit so bare with me. I saw this post " [PSA: Watch out for girls from Tinder who like fashion, hiking, investing and other random things.]1 " and thought I'd share what is currently happening to me.
The short: The website is Mareix I put $4K in an ICO called GEP ( Genesis Earnings Paction Chain). I have to wait until Oct 15 to withdraw due to a subscribe end countdown. They even have a Whitebook pdf attached to the page. It would of been $5K but I was able to get $1k back by telling them "If this is real then I should be able to get money out that I didn't invest yet".
Below is the LONG VERSION on how I got here.
I was visiting Las Vegas this past July 2020 and looking on Tinder to see whos around. I found this Chinese girl by "Alisa". We match but don't talk for a week.

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When I get back home to New York, we start sending messages. She is from Hong Kong. She says she used to know a beauty salon and started investing with the help from her Uncle.
"I have my own beauty salon and my own investment income".
"Before I was a beauty salon, I was a model". I let statements like this slide because I give foreigners the benefit of the doubt. Which in hindsight is dumb because they are expecting that from a dumb American like me.
She then tells me she has been to Saipan. Sends me videos of "her" flying a Cessna

[\"Alisa\" \"Flying\"]2
She tells me she is 30 years old and ends the conversation with a voice message saying "I'm going to go to bed, see you later".
The next day I embarrassingly send her selfies of me with my shirt off but covering my face. "Your figure is good. Do you exercise regularly? When I travel to the United States, you come to protect me"
I ask her to send me a picture. She responds "Dear, today my sister is going to have a baby, I will accompany her in the hospital". My first red flag. Who calls each other 'Dear'? I was once talking to a asian girl on google hangouts who turn out to be a Nigerian man.[The scam here was similar, they would build long term correspondence with you and then after a few month tell you they need money for hospital or emergency. But I saw through that one within a few days]. He called me dear a lot. So I started thinking, is this a scam? But what could I be scam for?
Next day:
Me - Congrats on you becoming an Auntie.
Alisa - Hahaha. Today a little prince came to our big family, the sister and child are safe.
Me - Do you want to have children?
Alisa - Yeah I'm an aunt now. I like children very much. In the future I want a naughty boy and a quirky daughter. [Again, who talks like this? But I stupidly want to believe.]
Alisa - I just finished taking a shower, now I turn on my computer and I am ready to view my latest investment trend chart. [and thats how it started]

I want to share more but its a lot. If this gets a lot of interest, I'll continue with my naive story. [Which is currently still happening.] But for now I'll add all the photos of "her". Let me know if she looks like anyone.

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[I know for certain this is not her, but it is Saipan.]3
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'''
PSA: Watch out for girls from Tinder who like fashion, investing and other random things. HAPPENING TO ME TOO RIGHT NOW :(
Go1dfish undelete link
unreddit undelete link
Author: IfUDontKnowNowUKnow9
1: old***ddit.com/Bitcoin/comment***u1*4c/*s*_wa*ch_o**_for_gi**s_f*om_*i*d***w*o*like/ 2: *ed*it.com/*in*/i*s**s/vid*o/bih0*sbcvzh5*/pla**r 3: re**i*.com/li*k*i*sb6s*video/zfuf*k*uvzh51/p**ye* 4: *rev**w.redd.it/*9*59*ihvzh*1.jpg?***th=828*a**;**r*at*pjpg&am**aut*=web*&**p;*=918*b82b54bf2*f*d3fde4c199**2d*3cb95d2aa 5: re****.com/lin*/icsb6s/video*tp*9q4*uvz*51/p*a*e* 6: red*it.com/li**/ic*b6s/vi*****uxr*zduv*h51/*layer 7: re*dit*co*/link*i*sb6s*video/g*mw6*l*v*h*1/p*ayer 8: pr*v**w.*edd.*t/uyaeri7qvz**1*j*g?width=*080&a*p;f*rmat=pjpg*amp**ut***eb*&a*p;s***4ce95f*83*f6*5*dac*9f03*bb1ad6b0*58f20 9: prev*e*.re**.*t*8****f7qvzh51*jp*?wid*h=1176&a*p;fo*mat=pjpg&am*;aut*=web*&*mp;s=09**8*4341**02*7da5c8e1f8c5**4b8*40e**97 10: previ*w.redd**t/n*kk7d7q**h51*jpg*w*d*h=1080&a*p;forma*=*j***a*p;*uto=*ebp**mp;s=f11**66*52df63*65f1f**7aa2c*dbea240*5e*a 11: p*e**ew.red**it/*uc*pg7qvzh5**jpg?w*dth=108*&am*;format=*jp*&**p;aut*=webp&a*p;*=1**37*61*bc**48800ff48a*d1db**efb*f*e3e3 12: previ**.redd**t*9smhfo**v*h51.jp*?w**th=1080&a**;f****t=pj*g&am*;a*to=web**amp;s=4d1*15a37afdcf0*d1d*9*50e*7a2c9*20*aa7*6 13: p*evie***e*d.it/c6*s*p7q*z**1.jpg?*idth=10*0&am*;f*rma*=pjp*&a*p;auto=we*p&*=c4194*d*d6b*c8**eb7*fd5*8**8*4bc6961231*
Unknown links are censored to prevent spreading illicit content.
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2020.08.17 17:07 READMYSHIT The Creep Dive Episode Guide

Date Title Cassie Sophie Jen Sidebars and guest stars Creep of the Week
1 12/12/2018 Canoe Believe It?? Alan Rickman never read Harry Potter John Darwin faked his own death in a canoeing accident Seamus on ket with Mary McAleese (Twitter thread)
2 12/12/2018 GP-OH My God who is SHE Samantha Azzopardi pays a visit to Ireland. One of many as she scammed her way around the world An outtake from This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor. Woman eats placenta (or blood clots)
3 12/12/2018 A Tale Too Tragic Tania Head, woman who claimed to be a survivor of the attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11 The Juggalos (Insane Clown Posse) Christians in disguise Reddit Guy meets the Devil. Black Mercedes Cassie reveals she used to be Born Again Christian. Jen's personal Angel, Happy Acres
4 11/01/2019 The American Dream or The American Peen What Ever Happened To: Lorena and John Wayne Bobbit. (Wife cuts off husband's dick after he raped her) Swiss cheese Pervert. Man would like a cheesey wank
5 11/01/2019 11 Lies and Counting Warrior Eli. Epic catfish story of a supermom who turned out to be teenager, Emily Dear Sinead O'Connor and Prince had a pillow fight. Prince takes it too far Jen first reveals she was a catfish/troll
6 11/01/2019 A 17 Year Old Mystery Solved by Sleuths Mystery of Lyle Stevik's suicide solved by DNA Doe Testing Ray's Death Documentary (admission of murder). Lady of the Dunes
7 25/01/2019 A Story Blown Wildy Out of Proportion Jimi Heselden segways into the afterlife. Rebba Burger maimed and killed from a whipped cream thing Lambo. Weird radio book review, hosted by Gay Byrne in which Gery Ryan allegedly kills a lamb A man fashions a flying saucer with helium balloons and sends his son flying off for attention
8 01/02/2019 An Unholy Hypocrite, The Dungarvan Angel of Death Travis the Troubled Teen David Matheson, former gay conversion therapist, comes out as gay Fr Michael Kennedy fakes an AIDS epidemic in Waterford. Gets the attention of Princess Diana Travis, the chimp and Creep Dive mascot (a classic!)
9 09/02/2019 The Greatest Writer that Never Was James Frey, A Million Little Pieces (fake memoir) Story of JT LeRoy (racoon penis) Dan Mallory (fake memoir)
10 15/02/2019 The Randy Mr. Hands How Joe Manuella Found Love, Robert De Niro impersonator Mr. Hands! Guy gets killed from bottoming a horse Ellen Coyne and Cassie become friends via Twitter
11 22/02/2019 The Curious Case of Crack Addict Jimmy(part 1) The Girl Who Predicted Her Own Death Tickling endurance competitions funded my some omnipotent millionaire (who obviously has a fetish)
12 22/02/2019 The Curious Case of Crack Addict Jimmy (part 2) That time the Washington Post had a Pulitzer briefly. Janet Cooke and the 8 year old heroin addict
13 01/03/2019 The Fine Line Between Exoneration and Execution The story of Cameron Todd Willingham (a innocent man sentenced to death) Pissing and menstrating in the Stuart era (not Victorian, Jen)
14 08/03/2019 The MSN Murder Mystery Momo: Online Suicide Game MSN Murder. Girl kill herself after online bullying, turns out to be a neighbourhood mom Elizabeth and Theranos
15 15/03/2019 Who Let the Cat Out The Noid, the Domino's mascot that led to a murder Mary Bale: Cat in the Wheelie Bin Topsy the Elephant: Tesla vs Edison
16 22/03/2019 Oyster Man, A Salacious Sausage Fest and A Con Confidence (Creep Live #1) Nicholas Barclay AKA Frédéric Bourdin (missing child imposter) Armin Meiwes, German cannibal Oyster Man (Dublin creep!)
17 01/04/2019 A Haunted Hormonal Teen, A Slender Bender, A Mother Love to Death (Creep Live #2) Dee Dee Blanchard murder by her daughter, seemingly incapacitated, Gypsy Rose. Enfield Haunting, poltergeist in a North London council house Slenderman possee
18 05/04/2019 Who is Timmothy Pitzen?? Disappearance and reappearance (???) of Timmoth Pitzen Christine Chubbuck, suicide on live TV Ford has a horn for Edison
19 12/04/2019 The Beautiful Lie Florida Man, pancake guy Belle Gibson, noted scammer Coco the Gorilla: artist, photographer and communicator
20 21/04/2019 There's a Catfish in the Water Lincoln Lewis catfish, Lydia Abdelmalek The most awkward book club of all time Girl with no vainga gets impreganted from a knife
21 27/04/2019 A Sasquatch, A Tinder Date With a Cannibal and The Life and Ruin of Anna Nicole Smith The Anna Nicole Smith Story Sasquatch Origin Story
22 04/05/2019 Friends From The College Cult Larry Ray: Creepy Dad Cult Whatever Happened to Baby Tyler?
23 11/05/2019 A Love As Deep As The Sea, A Shared Twinsanity and Better The Catfish You Know? Sabina & Ursula: Murderous Swedish Twins Suicide of Megan Meier Some people really love dolphins
24 18/05/2019 The Cat’s Out of The Bag for The Internet’s Maddest Man A Catfish Love Triangle (that ends in murder) The Luka Magnotta Story Jeremy Kyle
25 27/05/2019 The Secret Russian ‘Super Army’ and A Fertility Doctor Who Took Things Into His Own Hands Dr. Cline, fertility doctor who takes matters into his own hands Russian science experiment to create super humans (humanzee) Belle Gibson update (ep. 19)
26 01/06/2019 Larry and The Lawnchair of Dreams The eponymous Larry, an instant classic creep (that is not creepy at all) Moby
27 07/06/2019 The World’s Worst Baby Snatcher and The Ill-Prepared Cannibal Another Catfish Love Triangle and Baby Heist Isa Sagawa: A Cannibal in Paris
28 15/06/2019 Why You Should Never Let Granny Do The Ouija Board Story of Anna Delvy, epic swindler Ouija Board Murder Whale dick tentacle and the guy who honours a dead murderer (Twitter Thread)
29 21/06/2019 A Dead Man, A Cipher, a Mystery Somerton Man: Mystery Australian Man and an Undeciphered Code Ariel Castro kidnappings Delivery Man Haunts Cabin Groom kids on brides dress
30 28/06/2019 It’s Never Plain Sailing The Disappearance of Brian Swanson (into another dimension?) #blueball A shark buffet Juliane Koepcke, the sole survivor of a plane crash that left her stranded in the Amazon Rainforest Boris Johnson
31 07/07/2019 The Lost Family, The Last Eunuch and the Lust for the High Life Tromp Family Road Trip. Australian family collectively lose their mind A Philanthropic Couple with a Secret in the Attic Sun Yaoting; the last Eunuch of China.
32 11/07/2019 A Trio of Clones, Coercion and Courtship A shitty first-date The McDonald's-Nude Heist The phenomenon of a group of self cloning crayfish
33 19/07/2019 Brain-Eating Zombies, The Boy Who Tried to Blow Up Bjork and a Beary Bad Idea Story of Björk's would-be assassin Timothy Treadwell: Bear Enthusiast Furries and Brain eating zombie fungus Grunting man in a gimp suit
34 27/07/2019 A Priceless Love Affair and Something of a Pickle Debbie Montgomery Johnson get defrauded millions in an online dating scam Peeing and pooping in space. Creepy nudes escalates quick (to murder)
35 04/08/2019 Jen’s Solo Ghost Story the tale of Dear David, a creepy child ghost who has been haunting the hallways of illustrator Adam Ellis Horse Girl
36 11/08/2019 When a Dream Life Turns Into a Weird and Creepy Nightmare Dream House goes sour with letters from an ominous writer called, The Watcher Mystery Stripper Jen has the inside scoop on Area 51 Scout's arrival! Woof Canadian Serial Killers
37 18/08/2019 The Hero Who Didn't Know His Name and a Real Life Dr. WHO?? Story of Jean-Claude Romand: Murderer and Imposter Creep Dine With Me: Megan and Hazel. The story of Steven Stayner
38 01/09/2019 Don't Bookmark Your Murder Tips and a Real Life Mission Impossible How to not get away with murder (Daniel Brophy) Personal creep with creepy neighbour and a never ending gift exchange A missionary who get murdered by the Sentinelese
39 09/09/2019 A Twist in The Tale, The Devil Down Under and A Wild Slide A Catfish With a Happy Ending Mysterious Death of Phoebe Handsjuk Deal the Devil Downunder,Story of Michael Atkins and Matthew Leveson
40 13/09/2019 Move Over Travis, There’s a Bad Badger in Town and The Sad Tale of The Sorry Cannibals Caroline Calloway content! Alive: The reluctant cannibals The antics of Stoffel the honey badger
41 20/09/2019 British Fairies, Irish Con Artists and Asian Angels Cassie's Personal Creep and Misadventure in Berlin (featuring Moe) An Irish Kidnapping The Cottingley Fairy Hoax
42 28/09/2019 When a loving Christian family inadvertently adopt a 22 year old sociopath with violent tendencies The tale of Natalia Grace, a Ukrainian Orphan with dwarfism #childdeception Helen Bailey: Author who penned her own death Jacob Barnett, Child Prodigy
43 06/10/2019 The Girl...Who Laughed...As A Man Got Sewn Into The Body of a Horse Story of Nathan Carman and a Sunken Boat A Runaway Bride Countess Elizabeth Báthory, World worst female serial killer? Carl Beach, Richard Madely
44 15/10/2019 What Happens When You Exorcise a Mild Mannered Michael? (Creep Live #3) Ireland's Own Bermuda Triangle An exorcism gone wrong Goose on the Loose! A goose named Andy
45 21/10/2019 A Guest Ghost Story and The Haunted Spots of Dublin Dutch Family in a Basement (and assorted ghost stories) Creep Dine With Me: Fainche. A Dublin 8 Haunting
46 26/10/2019 The Tragedy of the Triplets A tragic tale of triplets and a social experiment Haunted Nazi Dummy
47 31/10/2019 A Catfish Convict, Dawn of The Ed and a Goat Gets Giddy for Piss - It’s our Halloween Spooktacular! Rape Ads, Fake Sonograms, and a Catfisher’s Web of Lies Ed Gein, his mother and the inspiration for Psycho A goat with a penchant for piss (human piss)
48 12/11/2019 An Amuse Bouche of Creep Catch Ups AND The Human Baby Zoo Update on Belle Gibson (ep. 19) Canadian Quintuplets (Human Baby Zoo) Update on Ukrainian Orphan (ep. 42) T.I. (obsessed with daughter's hymen)
49 17/11/2019 The Greatest No-Show-Man and the Mighty Meaty Murderer Threatin, metal band on world tour (with no audience but great hair) Joe Metheny: a mighty meaty murder #serialkiller Donegal Creeps caught climbing a hospital to ouija
50 25/11/2019 Oh No! Where Did Moe Go? Moe Davis: Another chimp fiasco. Travis 2.0 (ep. 8)
51 03/12/2019 A Haunted Galway Baby, a Mystery Man in Sligo and The Spine Tingling Story of the Sleepless Russians (Creep Live #4) Peter Bergmann, a mystery man in Sligo reminiscent of Somerton Man (ep. 29) #blueball Haunted Galway baby #haunted Russian sleep deprivation experiment (this is pretty harrowing) Harry meets the Creeps for the first time Dick Dicker: Unabomber meets Mr. Hands
52 06/12/2019 A Life Heavy on Lies, Light on Lols Jennifer Pan, a Vietnamese-Canadian teen kills her parents (well one of them) Dave, the randy duck
53 17/12/2019 The Woman Who Accidentally Solved Her Own Mystery Disappearance Netty Nance accidently solves her own kidnapping (spoiler: it was her own "mother") Carlos Mariotti and a novel idea to save his mangled hand (spoiler: it doesn't work) Public Universal Friend. First recorded case of non-binary person? Mommy blogger swindles Shauna Sex Síopa!
54 05/01/2020 The Cannibal Cop and A January Assortment of Creeps Cassie tricks a girl into think she's going to Disney Gilberto Valle, the cannibal cop, caught via chat room #cannibal People used to post their kids around! Jeffrey Epstein. German ladies who set a zoo ablaze and killed 20 primates
55 10/01/2020 Too Many Mothers, Too Much Motherly Love and A Small Town Scandal with Massive Consequences Creep Live #5) Bobby Dunbar went missing but when he reappeared to mothers came forward to claim Barbara Daly Baekeland gets murdered (and fucked?) by her son #murder #incest The mysterious Circleville letters #murder #blueball Jen gets send a video of a man fucking a chicken Tiny Indonesian man convicted of the most amount if rapes
56 17/01/2020 Three Cheers for Murder Dying killing to be popular. Cheer leader murder! Karla Homolka, Canada's only female serial killer (this was just an off the cuff creep) One of our very own creepettes has their dog fucked by some local scoundrel :( Cork Christmas Party Shenanigans!
57 25/01/2020 Your Mother Sucks Creep In Hell True Stories behind the production of The Exorcist Jen creeps her own parasite which she definitely didn't get in Centra Parcs Terry McMahon goes on a tirade by his feminist daughter
58 31/01/2020 You Can't Make A Dick Out Of The American Penal System Steven Jay Russell, amazing story of the man who escaped from prison multiple times Andrea Mara; the man who faked his MIL out the car window, armchair sleuths and just how dire your Google search history gets when you kill fictional people for a living Belle Gibson update! She's Muslim now (ep. 19)
31/01/2020 The Creep Hive #1 Jen helps her housemate pee in New Zealand Tampon Girl!!
59 07/02/2020 Who’s side are you on? Story of Ursula Hermann: the German equivalent of Madeleine McCann. Epic creep Sophie admits she ate a raw rasher thinking it was parma ham Some people have non-verbal thought (mini Twitter thread) Graham Linehan (Glinner)
07/02/2020 The Creep Hive #2: The Casualties of The Swan The Sur-jury, The Swan and other horrific reality shows
60 14/02/2020 A Prince and a Perfect Murder Chris Benoit Canadian wrestler. Double murder suicide Shawna from Sex Siopa to share a big juicy salacious royal affair. A lot of creeps reported their mothers fed them raw sausages
15/02/2020 The Creep Hive #3: Schofe's done a runner Cassie discusses her sexuality and everyone cries "Showgirls came out at a very key point in my life" Phillip Schofield literally does a runner
61 21/02/2020 The world’s most badass backpacker, Ireland’s biggest ever manhunt and hotdog handjobs (Creep Live #6) Brendan O'Donnell: Ireland's Biggest Manhunt #serialkiller Kari Ferrell: Hipster Grifter. Gets employed by Vice and exposed Salt Creek Kidnapping. Backpackers take revenge #violence All dogs and the Dublin guy faked an abduction of an elderly person
22/02/2020 The Creep Hive #4: Never trust a Murphy Bed Dead tired, people who've died in Murphy beds!
62 28/02/2020 And it was all cum and paper mâché (Creep Live #7) Gerard John: some local prisoners pose as a young woman and blackmail and fragile young man. Alex Malarkey goes into a coma after a car accident. When he wakes he claims to have met Jesus in Heaven... Man struggles to keeping his wife suitably embalmed Jen discusses laying eggs Katie Hopkins getting the CUNT award
01/03/2020 The Creep Hive #5: Hope Springs Terminal Duffy was kidnapped :( Psychologist hides camera on women with Munchausen Jen says I brought poppers to a live show but it was Cool Swan. Twitter thread about guys pissing in their mouths Sarah, the creep transition year student tells us about Hope Ybarra, Munchausen mom Carlow Judicial System. 73 year old mad jailed for ramming car parked on path
63 07/03/2020 Hike Life Nightmare and The OG Love is Blind Sun Myung Moon and the Church of Unification. It's the Moonies! A Russian Misadventure. 9 hikers die mysteriously in the northern Ural mountains Youtuber faked his girlfriend's death. 21 year old Stephanie impersonates her granny (after she's murdered)
07/03/2020 The Creep Hive #6: Joint custody Cassie meets LeBron James Joint Custody. John Wood mummifies his own leg. The ultimate creep craft.
64 13/03/2020 The OG Disease Spreader: It's Typhoid Mary Sherry Pie turns out to be a super creep (in a really bad way) and has now caused an editing nightmare for producers. Typhoid Mary, famed asymptomatic carrier Putin brings in a new law so he can rule for forever.
13/03/2020 The Creep Hive #7: CAVERN OF PUSS Cassie worked in a residential care home. Patient double dosed a suppository which "activated" as Cassie helped her into a wheel chair. PERI-RECTAL ABSCESS. Arguably one of the most disgusting creeps of all time
65 20/03/2020 A mad story about a mad (cow) disease, a smooth criminal and an underground mission with hilarious consequences Dan Cooper Hijacked a Boeing 727 aircraft in the northwest of the US; jumps out with thousands of dollars and is never seen again Mad Cow Disease and Doctor Daniel Carleton Gajdusek who goes to "help" Papua New Guinea and turns out ot be a paedophile School boys finds a secret warren under their school... A misadventure ensues
20/03/2020 Creep Live Online #1: A Town of Ticking Teenagers, Serial Turder and Mayhem at The Spa Mystery illness takes over town in North New York Sophie's top 3 getting stuck in toilet stories Woman gets naked and lost in spa
27/03/2020 Creep Live Online #2: The most haunted creep of the year
66 29/03/2020 Crafting conspiracies, cult clans and the game show killer Big Crafting is actually a Russian Propaganda Machine Rodney Alcala serial rapist, killer and gameshow contestant Taina Licciardo-Toivola: Annoying Aryian Cult family on YouTube
67 07/04/2020 The long (penis) and short (life) of your favourite covid meme and the mighty Michael that would not die Michael Malloy, the sturdy Irish fella in New York who proved to be un-murderable (well, almost Wardy Joubert, everyones favourite (well-endowed) naked covid meme (who's dead) Harry offically appointed alpha creep!
68 12/04/2020 More Tiger King, a YouTube Doll Debacle and Did Sophie Find D.B. Cooper? Inspired by recent haunted dolls on the hive, Cassie dives into internet sensation, Venus Angelic The Stars of Tiger King: An Epilogue
69 19/04/2020 Snitches get stitches and when internet comments destroy lives Would you provide an alibi for a loved one? Trevor Hardy - The Beast of Manchester (and his brother) The Inception of FaceBook Commentary: tangled history of internet smear campaign Kelsey Grammar maybe into pegging "It's very unfortunate for the mens. Their G-spot is up their ass hole and they're just going to have to get over it." -Cassie Delaney Eamon Holmes (5G) and the gardaí (posting photos of sun bathers)
70 26/04/2020 In The Shadow of the Truth Lies the Statue of Liberty Bling Water! Your water is dead, you fools Lisa helps Sophie with a follow up to Molly from Sophie's previous creep The Mandela Effect. Are we all in hell/purgatory/multiple dimensions/simulated world This episode has more filler than actual creeps but was no less enjoyable. Sophie, my handle is @Harry_birdboy. Cassie, I'll hug you! Gemma O'Doherty
71 06/05/2020 Shipman the shit man Crimes that happen in the virtual world that cross over into reality and suicide pact community killer Harold Shipman, world's most prolific (and boring) serial killer Gemma O'Doherty again (but she gets owned by Dublin airport on Twitter)
72 12/05/2020 Beta Theta Pi? More like Beta Theta Die and the Glow Up with Deadly Consequences Beta Theta Pi, Penn State University. Hazing ends in death :( Sophie loves horror. Tells the real life story behind Scream. (Impromtu creep!) Radium Girls!
73 19/05/2020 Walk like a reincarnated Egyptian also that time a squirrel ate some guys nuts Dorothy Eady, the reincarnation of an Egyptian priestess.Cassie is mean to her mother Creep Confectionary is now a thing. Sophie seeds the idea for a Toast Podcast. Sophie presents a gaggle of gals cat-fishing some terrorists Man gets balls eaten by squirrels Jen and Sophie want to host their own Most Haunted. Cassie protests, as usual Camilla and Prince Charles talk dirty
74 26/05/2020 Don't anger a Karen, canal creeps and the parents who put the kid in kidnapping Shannon Matthews, Karen Matthews has her own daughter kidnappped while she plays Xbox Belle Gibson update! She is now Oromo (an Ethiopian ethnic minority). Katherine Knight and her human pelt Riding in a tent on the canal
75 02/06/2020 Freezin’ people ain’t easy, the genuinely geriatric mother and the biggest creeps of the week ever The YouTubers that rehomed their son The oldest woman in the world to give birth (oyster woman). 40 year old stone foetus! Jen finally gets to tell her cryogenics story. Multple strands See Cassie
76 09/06/2020 No name, No luggage, No labels, No answers 1.) In a room at the Oslo Plaza Hotel, a young, elegant woman is found dead, with a gun shot wound to the head. Why did she check in under a false name? Why are the labels removed from her clothes? 2) Death in Ice Valley The gals are reunited!
77 16/06/2020 Guilt or grief? The dark story of Casey Anthony Via Reddit/Sarah. Creepy MSN guy and possibly related swindler Casey
78 23/06/2020 Slumber Murders and The OG Moby Dick Sleep killers The OG Moby Dick
25/06/2020 Creep Hive Sophie's Cock Along! Denis Nilsen:ScottishSerial Killer (and middle child)
submitted by READMYSHIT to TheCreepDive [link] [comments]


2020.08.05 07:13 NotchImpulse How to cope with a recent breakup

I’m still processing a recent breakup, I posted this on relationship and I want to post it here as well. Right now it’s been almost four months since we’ve been broken up and it still aches. It’s gotten better I stopped crying but now I’m just filled with anger. The context is what taken from my recent post of about :
“Let me preface this by saying I am 24 year old male and my Ex is 27 year old female.
My Ex broke up with April 15th this year. She did it via text, and I had not seen her since March since lock down started up. She's from Jersey, and I am from New York so seeing each other would be difficult at times. Two weeks before she broke up with me she said she had a dream that I asked her to marry me and she said no. Flash forward to the 15th she broke up with me. She said she still wanted to be friends, and I said I needed time. two weeks after I broke down crying to her on the phone saying I loved her and missed her and she said she was sorry she broke up with me that way, but she agreed to meet up so we could talk.
First of May I made my way to meet her in Jersey, I gave her a note I told her to read after we meet up. Before she came downstairs, I spent my time walking outside her place and in my mind I knew we won't reconcile and be together. when we met we sat down and she said we're too different, she gave me a cliche rather actually talking about what was wrong. She wanted to be friends, instead of being together again. I felt hurt but I knew that was going to be the outcome. I just gave up said I'll try to be your friend if you can try to see us being together again.
I went back home in pain and in tears. We texted when we got home and for a few days I we exchanged convos and memes. But we stopped because it didn't feel right just being friends. it didn't feel right accepting being less than what we were.
After May we only texted twice once for our mom's birthdays (they share the same birthday) and second time I wished her a happy birthday. I activated instagram, and I saw her with all her friends spending time on the beach, and I felt more hurt knowing I was there to celebrate it with her. It hurt even more when a former friend was there, and I wasn't. That friend I tried to reach out and ask to talk because my gf broke up with me but she ghosted me even though I stayed up till 5am one night consoling her when some guy did not choose her as her gf.
I see my ex clout chasing on IG posting Tiktoks and it makes me livid to not be with her and just be a side note. It sucks to have a constant reminder.
I downloaded a few days ago tinder, and a some other dating apps but every time I'm on on it, it feels like I'm cheating on her. It made me realize I am still not over her.
I wish things were different, that 2020 was not a year of hell, but I feel numb, and miserable since the break up. I miss her. I'm just here asking for advice for someone to hear me. At this point I don't want to bother my friends with this stuff again, yet I just need someone to talk to about this. She meant the world to me. I wanted to do more when Covid was gone, but now...”
Now I still see her on ig and I know it’ll eventually get better but I just can’t help to hate myself. I see someone fawning over her in the comments and she’s different now and not in a good way. The person I loved seems like she’s gone and I’m just depressed. How do I even cope and accept letting go when we have so much history. This year just keeps on getting worse and I know this isn’t comparable to what most people are going through this year but she meant so much. If anyone could please give me advice on how to move on
submitted by NotchImpulse to BreakUp [link] [comments]


2020.08.02 14:55 ThrowRAfmylifedundee My (39M) Wife(38F) of 10 years wants an open marriage after I advised her to use tinder as a confidence boost

My wife and I have always been on the 'bigger' side. After our second child (now 4 years old) I made a lot of lifestyle changes. I started going to the gym, doing powerlifting and running a lot. I tried to encourage my wife to participate and in the beginning she was really enjoying going to the gym but eventually she relapsed into bad habits. I'm not one to push too much and I always ensured her I would love her NO MATTER WHAT size she was. We were still having sex about 3-4 times a week in which we both always enjoyed and pushed eachother to try new things.
Recently my wife noticed that a woman from my gym had commented on one of my gym videos on instagram. It was a video of me beating my personal record in a deadlift (with about 10 people from the gym cheering me on, including the woman who commented) The comment was along the lines of " Fantastic result! On to the next!" . I can understand my wife's insecurity but I reassured her there is literally nothing there. This is someone I occasionally chat to during exercises and one of the guys helping me in the video is her husband.
Anyway, basically it came down to her feeling I was getting far more attractive than her and she was afraid I would leave her for some "young and beautiful girl at the gym".
We got into a friendly discussion, I proclaimed that if we were to both make a tinder account now, she would probably still end up getting far more matches than me. Knowing that there are infinite amounts of horny guys I was fairly sure of my hypothesis. I've never been on a dating app myself but I assumed as a decent looking 39 year old that is in shape I would get some matches.
We both installed tinder and bought the tinder gold option so we could swipe in another city (both terrified of neighbors seeing us or something). We decided to put our locations to London and then started watching a movie. The mood during all this was giggly and fun.
After the movie (2 hours) we both checked our phones again. My wife had 330 likes (you can see who has swiped you with tinder gold) and I had 1.
Her phone was blowing up. The first guy to start talking to her looked like a cross between khal drogo and the rock, who was also a dentist (was sure to show this in his pics) and was very down for "meeting my wife tonight". I could tell right there and then from my wifes reaction that all this attention was turning her on. We sat together on her phone for about half an hour just watching these messages pour in. So many compliments from 6'2 male model types, guys wanting to meet up, guys sending their number. Every kind of race and type of guy was there to choose from at her fingertips.
When she asked about my matches and saw I only had 1 she let out an "awwwww, at least I still want you honey"
Call me crazy, but this is the moment I saw in her eyes that everything was different. It was like suddenly she was realizing she could do 'better' than me and fuck an unlimited amount of hot guys.
We deleted our accounts that night and didn't really talk about it much more. I for one was scared to bring it up and felt humiliated that I had only gotten 1 match (to make it worse she looked far worse than me wife, my wife even made fun of my match)
Over the course of the next weeks my wife started to reject my sex more and more, 2 months later we hadn't had sex in a month. She was cold, bitter, started to have moodswings.
This is when I let my bad side get the better of me. One day when she was visiting her mum, i grabbed her work laptop that she always stores in her office drawer and decided to see what I could find.
I found out that she was using tinder on her work-laptop browser and had been talking to guys from all over the world the past weeks. Dubai, new york, california, you name it she had swiped there. The conversations mentioned her being single, and every one was sexually explicit in nature. All the guys she was talking to were 10 years younger than us too.
Then I decided to try web.whatsapp.com to see if she would have left that logged in... I felt sick to my stomach reading her whatsapp messages but I had to know...
I discovered that her 2 best friends (who have recently become single also and have been dating a lot on tinder) have been 'pushing' her to 'realise what you can get' and have been trying to get her to leave me or force me into having an open marriage. She often sends them screenshots of the guys she is matching with and is openly contemplating cheating on me.
I have been 'spying' on her work laptop whenever she is out now for about 3 weeks, she still doesn't know. Yesterday she very lightly brought up the 'open marriage' to me. But framed it in a way that made it seem like I could do whatever I wanted and that she "knew i'd want to fool around"
She claims to not be using tinder anymore since our 'experiment' .
I'm just absolutely devastated. a few months ago and we were great and now it feels like my life is falling apart. It seems so animalistic what is happening, I don't want to believe my wife is this shallow but it seems like she thinks she can do better than me and just wants to fuck hot guys. From what I can tell she hasn't yet, but she has added a few guys from tinder to her whatsapp and been flirting with the idea of meeting them.
In no way shape or form will I ever accept an open marriage. I have of course made screenshots of everything and even recording of the conversations on her laptop screen.
For me it feels like my marriage is already over. It's like I have been given a window into a part of my wifes mind that i wish didn't exist. I felt bad sometimes for looking at a girls ass in the gym for more than 5 seconds and could lose sleep over how I might be betraying my wife by having indecent thoughts etc.
Anyone else gone through something like this? How do I even confront her?
submitted by ThrowRAfmylifedundee to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.08.02 05:46 NotchImpulse I want to be with my Ex-Girlfriend. What should I do?

Hi All,
Let me preface this by saying I am 24 year old male and my Ex is 27 year old female.
My Ex broke up with April 15th this year. She did it via text, and I had not seen her since March since lock down started up. She's from Jersey, and I am from New York so seeing each other would be difficult at times. Two weeks before she broke up with me she said she had a dream that I asked her to marry me and she said no. Flash forward to the 15th she broke up with me. She said she still wanted to be friends, and I said I needed time. two weeks after I broke down crying to her on the phone saying I loved her and missed her and she said she was sorry she broke up with me that way, but she agreed to meet up so we could talk.
First of May I made my way to meet her in Jersey, I gave her a note I told her to read after we meet up. Before she came downstairs, I spent my time walking outside her place and in my mind I knew we won't reconcile and be together. when we met we sat down and she said we're too different, she gave me a cliche rather actually talking about what was wrong. She wanted to be friends, instead of being together again. I felt hurt but I knew that was going to be the outcome. I just gave up said I'll try to be your friend if you can try to see us being together again.
I went back home in pain and in tears. We texted when we got home and for a few days I we exchanged convos and memes. But we stopped because it didn't feel right just being friends. it didn't feel right accepting being less than what we were.
After May we only texted twice once for our mom's birthdays (they share the same birthday) and second time I wished her a happy birthday. I activated instagram, and I saw her with all her friends spending time on the beach, and I felt more hurt knowing I was there to celebrate it with her. It hurt even more when a former friend was there, and I wasn't. That friend I tried to reach out and ask to talk because my gf broke up with me but she ghosted me even though I stayed up till 5am one night consoling her when some guy did not choose her as her gf.
I see my ex clout chasing on IG posting Tiktoks and it makes me livid to not be with her and just be a side note. It sucks to have a constant reminder.
I downloaded a few days ago tinder, and a some other dating apps but every time I'm on on it, it feels like I'm cheating on her. It made me realize I am still not over her.
I wish things were different, that 2020 was not a year of hell, but I feel numb, and miserable since the break up. I miss her. I'm just here asking for advice for someone to hear me. At this point I don't want to bother my friends with this stuff again, yet I just need someone to talk to about this. She meant the world to me. I wanted to do more when Covid was gone, but now I have nothing to look forward to (Except Cyberpunk that game looks awesome, jk I just wanted to provide some levity). Any response is appreciated. Thank you for reading this since I know this a long post.
submitted by NotchImpulse to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.08.02 00:57 ThrowRA02496 I (M17) think my dad (M64) is cheating on my Mom (F61).

Warning: this is long
Yes I know my parents are old but they had me later in life.
My dad is a professor in Cambridge, England and I live in the States, therefore he is only home half of the year. However due to the COVID-19 pandemic he has been home more.
I used to have a lot of respect for him until before Thanksgiving last year I caught him watching pornography. It took me a couple days to finally tell my mom and my dad apologized.
Fast forward to March, pre-lockdown, I see my dad get a Tinder notification on his phone, however, it was only for a brief second. A few days later I see him sitting on the couch with Hs back towards me and I clearly saw him swipe left and right until he noticed me and got up and left.
Nothing else happened until June. I was still in distanced learning at this time and my school just used google classroom and not live classes so I was staying up until 1 or 2 am. My dad has his own study which is located it the attic. I went to go brush my teeth at 11 pm one day and my mom asked him who he was talking to at 11 pm and he said it was a work colleague named W (I’m not going to say the name even though I do not know if that is actually her real name) Both my mom and I immediately knew something was up. He works in England which has a time zone 5 hours ahead of us (we live on the east coast) so I doubt anyone would be on the phone at 4 am. The strange part is once my mom went back to her room my dad said his “daughter” asked him a question. I have a sister (F17) but she was sound asleep and could not have asked him anything. A day or two later it happens again, this time he is even more suspicious. My dad is usually very loud and I can sometimes even hear him talk on the phone from my living room. However he was whispering. My mom confronted him and he talked himself out of it.
The only thing my dad and I ever do together is watch sports. He introduced me to sports and we used to watch Mets (baseball) games together. However for the past month at 8:30 pm every night he says “I have to go make a phone call. I will be back” Spoiler alert: he never does come back. When the game is over at 10-11 pm I go to brush my teeth and he is still on the phone and is very quiet about.
Another thing he does is ask me where my mom went everytime she leaves the house. About a few days ago when my mom was out of the house and my sister was at a friends house he decided to talk at his normal volume. I didn’t listen to the entire conversation but I did hear him talk about him on dating sites. I guess I made some noise because he became quite again.
The most annoying thing my dad does is in the morning he reads the newspaper in the living room when I’m trying to do work. He has a right to do it I just personally find it annoying and have expressed the fact to my dad. I always ask him politely if he could just read the newspaper in his study and his respond is always “I’m leaving in a couple of minutes” Today he brought the newspaper inside and then got a phone call. He then took the newspaper and went to his study.
He also goes into New York City every other week to meet with “donors”. Today is one of those days. I decided to go into his study to prove my suspicions. What I did may have been unethical but what he may be doing can be even more unethical. The only thing I found was a note that said W (the girl) call at 4 pm and 9 pm. His computer was also there but I didn’t feel I had enough reason to go through his computer.
That’s where I am today and I am not sure what to do now?
submitted by ThrowRA02496 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.07.30 13:36 Corvus_Covid Andrew Cuomo Superstar: The NYS Parks (Track 12)

Andrew Cuomo Superstar
Inspired by the 1973 rock opera "Jesus Christ Superstar"
Track Cast:
Masses of Park Dwellers as The moneylenders and merchants
Andrew Cuomo as Jesus
The Newly Unemployed as The Colony of Lepers

12. THE NYS PARKS (ON THE FIRST SUNNY DAY AFTER LOCK-DOWN)
MASSES OF PARK DWELLERS NOT SOCIAL DISTANCING
Picnic time, the sun has sprout
Light those coals, we're grilling out
Can-Jam, team up with a peer
Masks are off, no tan-lines here

Take a dive, it's Frisbee time
Find a tree, for you to climb
Leave your hand wash at bedside
COVID doesn't live outside

I got meat that needs a cleave
The butcher's closed, what a smell
I am out on my sick leave
Just a cough, I feel well

Hi there sir,I'm from out of town
Could you point me to the playground?
My family comes from a strong bloodline
We think it's from all the quinine

These last two days I won't forget
I've turned this cockroach into a pet
Went on Tinder, met a guy
Now today he's got pink eye

Grab your shoes, there's a 5K race
Let's make our virtual times real fast
Take that covering off your face
CO2 will make you gassed

MUSIC (CUOMO GUITAR SOLO)

Blankets down, we found a spot
Daddy went, to park the yacht
Sickly, people all around
Bodies strewn, across the ground

Fill it in, this park's not full
Pack it tight, six feet is bull
Hold my slot 'til my group arrives,
We came from Kansas, what a drive

I brought snacks I want to share
Come eat croutons, from this bag
(CUOMO FLIPPING PICNIC TABLES)

CUOMO
My parks should be places of space,
But you have made them hubs of disease.
Spread out! Spread out!

You folks won't listen to,
Any brief I do,
Televised a guide for three weeks,
Seems you missed it,
Please go stream it.

THE NEWLY UNEMPLOYED
Went to work- And got fired today,
Fed my kids- With a week old ham,
Helping us should be your goal,
Got some bills- My checkbook's slammed.

Missed my rent- I'll be on the streets,
Filed a claim- But too much demand,
The DOL needs more personnel,
System's broke- Can you lend a hand?

Take a hunch and tend to this, Gov.
Is is too much for a free meal, Gov.?
What a diss, don't ignore this, Gov.
Don't dismiss who elects you, Gov.

Lost my house- The bank foreclosed,
Closed up shop- Now my business died,
New York State should help us to thrive,
Got tested -Health coverage denied.

School is closed- Will I walk in May?.
Used to teach- Now I'm home full-time,
Education on the decline,
My textbooks-Cost me my last dime.

We took a punch, don't extend this, Gov.
We need a crutch, don't steal from us, Gov.
Cut the bliss, we see your cracks, Gov.
Won't you miss all our state tax, Gov.?

My last smoke- Can't afford no more,
Hours cuts- Yet my boss is staffed,
Help make the money trickle down,
Debit card- Runs on overdraft.

I'm a nurse- Now I'm overworked,
College bar- Now I'm under-served,
We need a way to make this work,
Hear my voice?- I have gone unheard.

Will you stop with the PowerPoints, Gov.?
Won't you stop with the ventilators, Gov.?
Will you pass out some state aid, Gov.?
Won't you pass out if you mask up, Gov.?

My front door- Has been locked for weeks,
My old car- Doesn't want to start,
Two weeks home and the fun is gone,
Now my kids- Started bold wall art.

'Work from home'-Not an option here,
Had a beer- But it's 9 AM,
My normal life has gone away,
Don't wear pants- I'm a huge disgrace.

Will this 'PAUSE' be over soon, Gov.?
Don't you think this is too much, Gov.?
Will Easter be delayed here, Gov.?
Don't you mess with Mother's Day, Gov.

CUOMO (TO THE UNEMPLOYED MASSES)
The website's overwhelmed-file tomorrow
There's too many claims-file for PUA
Feed yourselves!
submitted by Corvus_Covid to AndrewCuomoSuperstar [link] [comments]


2020.07.27 17:26 ThrowRA_25_ 7 years of my journey part 1

My life has turned into a never ending nightmare of a soap opera. This is my first time posting on reddit but I really need advice and to hear other people’s point of views regarding my situation. To start, I am a 25 year old female, and my ex is a 25 year old male. We started dating the last year of high school and the 6 years we were together have been quite the rollercoaster. I do want to say that I was in love with this person since he was my first love and because of that I think that is why I endured so much heartache throughout the years. I was a naive 17 year old girl who just wanted to be loved and understood. I wanted to make it work no matter what.
We started dating in March of 2013, 5 months before I was going away for college ( I know.. silly) I gave him a chance on a date since he had been asking for so long and I thought why not... I ended up falling head over heels quickly, especially since this was my first love, and I had never experienced affection before from anyone intimately. I had never been on a date before and with him I discovered places I had never been to since my parents would never really go anywhere. I became very attached to this person since he was my first love and the one I lost my virginity to..Fast forward to June when we had Prom, things went downhill. He broke up with me the morning after. His reason was that I was “ungrateful” for the hotel room he got us since I apparently complained about sharing the room with his best friend but he never told me he was splitting costs or that he would like it if I would pitch in some money. Eventually I found out that he was planning since April to break up with me and used that as an excuse. That morning he threw my bags in front of my house, kicked me out of the car and said it was over. I spent the whole day laying down on my bed in shock and trying to convince him to be with me.. looking back now I wish I had stopped myself and stopped all contact. I wish I had self respect, but I was young and naive and blind in love to what was happening.
Two weeks later we started talking again and we would meet up randomly to hang out or to be intimate and never defined what we were. At the time he was heavily involved in taking drugs at every concert and I was the one trying to get him to stop. Then August came and a week before I was moving we had a party at a friends house and he got so drunk that he passed out on a lawn chair. His friend and I then decided to go through his phone since he said I should probably check it, and I found so many girls that he was talking to including his friends girl that he was actually seeing and cheating with. I was so heart broken but I blamed myself for not defining things and being in a relationship with him. I thought if I was in one, he wouldn’t do this. And so that week I told him either I leave for college in a relationship with you or it’s over. And he agreed to put a title and that was that. Another stupid, stupid mistake. I went to college in a relationship. I was faithful to him. That’s something I’m very proud of because to this day I can say I have never cheated or wanted to despite all the infidelity on his part. We maintained a long distance relationship where we would see each other every 3-4 weeks either he would visit me or vice versa. He was planning on moving up that January, 5 months after I had moved to Tallahassee for school. He wanted to go to school up here and start a life here with me. Later on I would find out that was only an excuse and he was not done with his childish ways. The same week he was supposed to come up to look for apartments I received an anonymous message sending me screenshots of an explicit convo he had with an old friend of mine. Let’s just say I was furious and wanted to cut ties but he drove up that same day and made amends with me somehow convinced me that he was moving for me and to start over. Months would go by and I would start finding texts between him and other girls that completely broke my heart. I would get mad and he would in turn get mad at me for looking through this things and breaching his privacy. He then would say I’m just making things into something bigger than they were and that why would he do this if he had moved up here for me? He would get mad I would bring things up and randomly at 3 am would tell me to go home when there was no way for me to get back safely. I’d have to park my car far from the dorm and walk and he didn’t care. Now I understand that if you have to go through someone’s phone, the relationship is already over, but at that time I didn’t. He would blame me and distance himself then come back and make amends. I’d say 4-5 months after he moved to Tallahassee I started experimenting with smoking marijuana with him. At first it was occasional but then as time went on I used it as a way of forgetting my problems and feeling good when in fact I was very depressed over all the betrayal I would constantly find out about. I didn’t realize it at the time, but now looking back I do. During that summer he even convinced me to try LSD and I did it to try to connect to him and figure out the root problem of his betrayals. The first night I tried it I had to drive home and he let me go while I was still tripping and all the lights were coming at me. I had a 5 min drive home so I thought I could make it. I wasn’t thinking clearly and realize now I could have died or killed someone. I ended up doing it 4 times that summer and never again. It only made me feel all the pain I went through and then when I thought he was fine and we had been raw in our emotions, I would see more messages on his phone pop up. Then September 2014 came and my best friend came up to college to get an apartment with me. We hung out for weeks while she was visiting and seeing places, and then one day when I got back from work she told me that my boyfriend had messaged her about how he basically wanted to be “fuck buddies” with her and how he did want to be with me in the future, but he wanted to have sex with other people as well and since her bf was away, that she might agree to this. She was disgusted by this. She told me right away and I was broken. I remember coming back to his apartment that day and he had cooked and did everything right and looked on edge but I didn’t have the guts to say anything. Finally I did and we took a break. A break that deep down I didn’t want since I was in love with him and I just drowned my sorrows into smoking more and forgetting my problems. 2 weeks later somehow he convinced me he was worthy of yet another chance. Things got so awkward between my friend and I that we grew apart and never ended up getting an apartment together. We would still hang out but since I chose to stay with him, things weren’t the same.
The months passed and he started talking to another girl and another.. unfortunately I recognize now that I was so blind by this unconditional love I had that I missed the red flags and blatant disrespect that happened right in my face. We would be “good” for months then I would check his phone and see something disappointing that would break me. One of the biggest disappointments was when I got sick with bile reflux and a hiatal hernia (which I now believe was due to smoking so much and eating so much at a time that I tore something inside of me..) the nausea and acid reflux got to bad I would be throwing up daily and using marijuana now more than ever to “cure me”. I went to countless doctors and focused on trying to find out what was happening to my body; I quit checking his phone and worrying about him. I was trying to survive. I threw up daily and needed to smoke to get rid of the nausea but then all the smoking was causing it to get worse. I had 2 surgeries that year. I got rid of my tonsils and adenoids since they were swollen and I thought the problem would be solved. It wasn’t. Then months later I got an endoscopy to see inside and they still saw bile and the hernia. I was put on medication but I still needed to smoke to be able to eat and not be nauseous. It only made it worse and made me numb to my feelings in my personal life as well.
That year I got sick he started working more and he would get home late. He then started staying out until 3 am at the Friday’s restaurant/bar with work friends, and even took me once so I would know where he was at.. but the weeks passed and every weekend 1-2 days out of the week he would stay til 3 am with work friends. Eventually March of 2016 he wanted to take a break since he felt like some things weren’t right. He didn’t give much of an explanation but months later I would find out about a text conversation between him and this girl Julia where she said he should go on a break with her gf again... meaning he had cheated during his random March break. I was so hurt but I didn’t say anything that time. Internally, it was over but I just couldn’t bring myself to end it. By that summer we were both moving out of our apartments since we both lived in separate places with random assigned student living. We both went to live with our friends, and I had even suggested at that time that we move in together but he denied the idea. That summer he also went on a 2 week cruise with his family around Bahamas and the islands. I spent time with my family and when he returned I just felt like something was off since he was trying to love bomb me. We had a hurricane happen and we lost power for 8 days in Tallahassee and had to struggle together to get though since we chose to quarantine in his apartment for the storm. We chose his place due to the ability to connect a charger to the car through the window and connect appliances since he was on the first floor. The day we got power back I checked my Instagram and noticed there was a DM from a week or so ago from a random girl saying she had slept with my bf during the cruise trip and that she was sorry and thought he was single since that is what he had told her. I was so angry at the time. I remember reading that when I was still in his apt and I screamed out in the living room where he and everyone was about how much a cheater and a horrible person he was and what he had done. He started denying it and being very calm about everything even laughing under his breathe to make me look insane and acting like it didn’t phase him- he didn’t care. I was screaming and calling him all the names and he just kept saying she was actually now obsessed with him and he didn’t pay her attention at the cruise. But why would someone who lives in Canada reach out to me to let me know what happened? She could have just ignored it but she felt it was right to tell me and I respect her for her honesty. I went home that day and wrote a 4 page letter to him of all the wrong that he had done in the 3 years we were together and how I knew about all the infidelities. I’m a writer, so expressing myself in this vessel is a way for me to heal. That evening I was planning on breaking up with him and giving him the letter to read to have closure. I went over to his place and brought over the letter and handed it to him and told him it was over and that I knew he cheated and that what the stranger told me was the truth. He denied it again and took the paper and went straight to the garbage bin to dispose of it. He didn’t even give it a glance and that was so disrespectful. I ran back and asked him why he did that and he ended up stealing my attention to talk about how he actually really did want to break up since we weren’t getting along and it was his senior year and he needed to focus on his bio degree..basically giving his excuses as to why he wanted to end the relationship and really blew me away because it was all excuses but I felt rejection in that moment and that hurt my ego when this was really supposed to end because he cheated on me. We split up for 6 months.
At first I was depressed for a while.. I got so depressed that I became physically ill for a month and doctors didn’t know why I was sick for that long. I believe heartbreak caused that physical manifestation. As the months went by I started accepting it then seeing it was for the better. That month of December 2016 I went to Brasil for a month to visit my family. I had the time of my life going to the beach and doing touristy things; it helped me heal. I felt and told people I was done with him. Then in January he came crawling back to hang out. I rejected it at first then agreed and we started by watching a movie and smoking together. I hadn’t smoked in 6 weeks and my numbness went away and clarity had come back. I started feeling all the emotions again but I started smoking with him and that numbness came back. I honestly wish I wouldn’t have smoked again because it ruined my judgment and the hard work it took to heal. I should never have let him back into my life. After hanging out once he apologized for “leaving me alone all this time” and “abandoning me”. I forgave him and chose to get back together. I honestly thought he was sorry and that he realized what he had lost. Months passed and I was still living with my friend but he was always at my apartment. We got close again and we were both still in school. His plan was to graduate in August and then move back with his family in Miami. I was so upset by this that I wanted him to stay and I told him that. Since he took a while to decide his situation my roommate and her bf and friend who was living with my bf decided to all sign a lease together since my bf was undecided and they needed a place to live. He finally decided that he wanted to stay with me in Tallahassee and so we had to sign a lease together since I had no one else to live with on such short notice.
It was September of 2017 when he moved in. I was very happy at the time and wanted to make the place very cozy. That very next month he had a month long trip to Europe with his family that he went to and left me alone in the apt with my thoughts. I kept thinking.. if he did it once in the Bahamas.. he would do it again in Europe.. Then I would justify it by saying no, no he’s changed. He realized he can’t do that and keep me. But did he? In December I was again seeing my family for a month since at the time they moved to Brasil and was living there for a few years to renovate their home and sell it. I had spent a whole year without seeing my family and I missed them dearly. My bf and I texted the whole time and we were okay. We told each other we missed each other and one day he was silent for hours. Then he replied to me and was very extra about his feelings and how he missed me and I just felt that something was wrong. When I came back he love bombed me and looking back he was very extra with trying to be affectionate to deter me from thinking anything could possibly have happened while I was away. Two months later I stopped smoking to do a class during spring break since I thought I would be drug tested and I became very annoyed easily. He didn’t understand my withdrawal symptoms and reacted harshly as well. I went to check his phone one very day and say some random texts and Facebook messages from girls that didn’t make sense. It was from December while I was away and I just automatically accused him of doing something wrong. He had an explanation for everything and I believed him because I had no proof. Based on his explanations it was all rational. That month we got a letter from our building saying they needed to renovate and move us to another location in the complex, thus resigning another year lease. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do so I signed the lease because I needed a place to stay.
That very month we moved in, I graduated and we went to visit his parents and buy furniture at ikea for our new place. I was so happy at the time. We were in a good place, we were starting an online business, had great ideas flowing, etc. Then one day his phone lit up. I went to check and some number had texted him saying she couldn’t wait to see him on Monday. And he said he couldn’t either. I was so caught off guard because we had just purchased things for our new place and I thought we were okay! I was leaving that weekend to go back and start decorating while he spent more time with him family. It started to make more sense that maybe he was seeing this person while I was away.. I didn’t say anything and that night I messaged the number. I asked her who she was and she said she was a sex worker. At that moment my heart was racing uncontrollably. I didn’t want to know more. We were just okay... we were building a business... no it couldn’t be. I confronted him about it and he said it was an old friend who messaged him and not the person claiming to be a sex worker. I believed him because he had such a serious explanation for it that I fell for the lies. And I wanted the business to move forward.
That summer we spent building the business and website to launch at the end of the summer. Then he went to New York with his family in June for a quick trip and then back to Miami. He then claimed his friends invited him to go to Bahamas out of the blue and told me it was last minute and that he couldn’t refuse a free trip. I was livid. I knew the risk of him cheating and I was sure he would if he went out with his friends. He still went despite me saying I didn’t feel comfortable or like the idea. I then noticed he added someone on Instagram that was from Chicago and she had her Snapchat on her page listed so I decided to follow. I sneakily added her and decided to ask if she knew him. She said yes and that he had just requested her on tinder that day. I blew up on him. He defended himself and rejected it of course but I knew this wasn’t a lie. That was when he started gaslighting me and saying it was all in my head. He didn’t talk to me many nights and I just focused all my energy on building the website. He had an excuse when he got back and I “forgave” him because now we had a business to move forward and money was invested. We were starting a clothing brand together and I wanted it to be successful I was willing to put my own reality on the back burner. What a huge mistake.
The months passed and we got heavily invested, spending hours a day on the business and working a serving job. We were in a good place and happy it seemed. But then in September I noticed him getting close to a family friend and she would randomly call him. One time she called to let him know about some good dog food brands and wanted to talk on the phone about it.. he put her on speaker I guess to try to justify it and show me nothing was going on.. I kept making side marks like why is she asking that? Why does she care? Wtf? And he got so mad he knocked my phone out of my hand and it hit my cheek to the point of causing a bruise. There was no reason for him to knock my phone out. He was talking to her through his phone and I was just holding my phone. He still to this day says it was my fault for being nosy and it’s not his fault the phone hit me.. does that even make sense? We had a trip scheduled with his parents the next week to Tennessee and I went and put on a front like everything was okay. I still had a bruise and I covered it up with makeup. I remember one night his friend was hanging out with us there in the cabins and he said the one important thing to be is honest. It’s so important to be honest with each other. I said yeah it really is and in my mind I thought that he would take the hint or if he had something to say that would be his opportunity to confess. But no. It didn’t phase him.
The emotional abuse continued along with the questioning of my judgment and why I didn’t trust him. He would kick open bathroom doors while I wanted privacy just to “discuss” things on why I had such insecurities or couldn’t trust him. He wanted to ingrain in my mind that I had no reason to doubt him. He would corner me along the kitchen as well to get me to “talk” and not let me pass because we had to discuss things.. pulling me back to the same spot to listen to him..after a while I realized it was some sort of abuse and definitely emotional abuse. Then in December I found a bunch of texted between him and his coworker showing off his designer wallets and things, saying how now she has a reason to “fuck him” and a bunch of other nonsense. I went off. I saw the exchange happened at 4 am.. that was when I was sleeping after staying up late working on OUR business. I knew at that point he would never change and I was wasting my time building something with the wrong person. I kept that bottled up. I didn’t talk to him for days and just became angry. He knew something was wrong and finally asked me and I said you can guess.. you know why I’m mad. He said he didn’t and I still wouldn’t say anything. He then smashed his beer mug onto the counter and it went a million pieces. Then he quickly got up and put both hands on my chair and got really close and screamed TELL ME! At that moment I fell on my back together with him and he grabbed my head and squeezed it and yelled tell me! Since I was so afraid of him at that point i screamed the girls name and got up and then waited for his reaction. Of course he said he didn’t mean it literally he was just playing around and I said that’s so disrespectful especially when I show my face at the restaurant at times to say hi or eat. He didn’t seem like it bothered him at all. He just brushed it off like he does with everything that hurts me. He makes it seem small so that I forget about it too.
submitted by ThrowRA_25_ to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]


2020.07.27 16:52 ThrowRA_25_ NEED ADVICE: 7 years of my journey Part 1

My life has turned into a never ending nightmare of a soap opera. This is my first time posting on reddit but I really need advice and to hear other people’s point of views regarding my situation. To start, I am a 25 year old female, and my ex is a 25 year old male. We started dating the last year of high school and the 6 years we were together have been quite the rollercoaster. I do want to say that I was in love with this person since he was my first love and because of that I think that is why I endured so much heartache throughout the years. I was a naive 17 year old girl who just wanted to be loved and understood. I wanted to make it work no matter what.
We started dating in March of 2013, 5 months before I was going away for college ( I know.. silly) I gave him a chance on a date since he had been asking for so long and I thought why not... I ended up falling head over heels quickly, especially since this was my first love, and I had never experienced affection before from anyone intimately. I had never been on a date before and with him I discovered places I had never been to since my parents would never really go anywhere. I became very attached to this person since he was my first love and the one I lost my virginity to..Fast forward to June when we had Prom, things went downhill. He broke up with me the morning after. His reason was that I was “ungrateful” for the hotel room he got us since I apparently complained about sharing the room with his best friend but he never told me he was splitting costs or that he would like it if I would pitch in some money. Eventually I found out that he was planning since April to break up with me and used that as an excuse. That morning he threw my bags in front of my house, kicked me out of the car and said it was over. I spent the whole day laying down on my bed in shock and trying to convince him to be with me.. looking back now I wish I had stopped myself and stopped all contact. I wish I had self respect, but I was young and naive and blind in love to what was happening.
Two weeks later we started talking again and we would meet up randomly to hang out or to be intimate and never defined what we were. At the time he was heavily involved in taking drugs at every concert and I was the one trying to get him to stop. Then August came and a week before I was moving we had a party at a friends house and he got so drunk that he passed out on a lawn chair. His friend and I then decided to go through his phone since he said I should probably check it, and I found so many girls that he was talking to including his friends girl that he was actually seeing and cheating with. I was so heart broken but I blamed myself for not defining things and being in a relationship with him. I thought if I was in one, he wouldn’t do this. And so that week I told him either I leave for college in a relationship with you or it’s over. And he agreed to put a title and that was that. Another stupid, stupid mistake. I went to college in a relationship. I was faithful to him. That’s something I’m very proud of because to this day I can say I have never cheated or wanted to despite all the infidelity on his part. We maintained a long distance relationship where we would see each other every 3-4 weeks either he would visit me or vice versa. He was planning on moving up that January, 5 months after I had moved to Tallahassee for school. He wanted to go to school up here and start a life here with me. Later on I would find out that was only an excuse and he was not done with his childish ways. The same week he was supposed to come up to look for apartments I received an anonymous message sending me screenshots of an explicit convo he had with an old friend of mine. Let’s just say I was furious and wanted to cut ties but he drove up that same day and made amends with me somehow convinced me that he was moving for me and to start over. Months would go by and I would start finding texts between him and other girls that completely broke my heart. I would get mad and he would in turn get mad at me for looking through this things and breaching his privacy. He then would say I’m just making things into something bigger than they were and that why would he do this if he had moved up here for me? He would get mad I would bring things up and randomly at 3 am would tell me to go home when there was no way for me to get back safely. I’d have to park my car far from the dorm and walk and he didn’t care. Now I understand that if you have to go through someone’s phone, the relationship is already over, but at that time I didn’t. He would blame me and distance himself then come back and make amends. I’d say 4-5 months after he moved to Tallahassee I started experimenting with smoking marijuana with him. At first it was occasional but then as time went on I used it as a way of forgetting my problems and feeling good when in fact I was very depressed over all the betrayal I would constantly find out about. I didn’t realize it at the time, but now looking back I do. During that summer he even convinced me to try LSD and I did it to try to connect to him and figure out the root problem of his betrayals. The first night I tried it I had to drive home and he let me go while I was still tripping and all the lights were coming at me. I had a 5 min drive home so I thought I could make it. I wasn’t thinking clearly and realize now I could have died or killed someone. I ended up doing it 4 times that summer and never again. It only made me feel all the pain I went through and then when I thought he was fine and we had been raw in our emotions, I would see more messages on his phone pop up. Then September 2014 came and my best friend came up to college to get an apartment with me. We hung out for weeks while she was visiting and seeing places, and then one day when I got back from work she told me that my boyfriend had messaged her about how he basically wanted to be “fuck buddies” with her and how he did want to be with me in the future, but he wanted to have sex with other people as well and since her bf was away, that she might agree to this. She was disgusted by this. She told me right away and I was broken. I remember coming back to his apartment that day and he had cooked and did everything right and looked on edge but I didn’t have the guts to say anything. Finally I did and we took a break. A break that deep down I didn’t want since I was in love with him and I just drowned my sorrows into smoking more and forgetting my problems. 2 weeks later somehow he convinced me he was worthy of yet another chance. Things got so awkward between my friend and I that we grew apart and never ended up getting an apartment together. We would still hang out but since I chose to stay with him, things weren’t the same.
The months passed and he started talking to another girl and another.. unfortunately I recognize now that I was so blind by this unconditional love I had that I missed the red flags and blatant disrespect that happened right in my face. We would be “good” for months then I would check his phone and see something disappointing that would break me. One of the biggest disappointments was when I got sick with bile reflux and a hiatal hernia (which I now believe was due to smoking so much and eating so much at a time that I tore something inside of me..) the nausea and acid reflux got to bad I would be throwing up daily and using marijuana now more than ever to “cure me”. I went to countless doctors and focused on trying to find out what was happening to my body; I quit checking his phone and worrying about him. I was trying to survive. I threw up daily and needed to smoke to get rid of the nausea but then all the smoking was causing it to get worse. I had 2 surgeries that year. I got rid of my tonsils and adenoids since they were swollen and I thought the problem would be solved. It wasn’t. Then months later I got an endoscopy to see inside and they still saw bile and the hernia. I was put on medication but I still needed to smoke to be able to eat and not be nauseous. It only made it worse and made me numb to my feelings in my personal life as well.
That year I got sick he started working more and he would get home late. He then started staying out until 3 am at the Friday’s restaurant/bar with work friends, and even took me once so I would know where he was at.. but the weeks passed and every weekend 1-2 days out of the week he would stay til 3 am with work friends. Eventually March of 2016 he wanted to take a break since he felt like some things weren’t right. He didn’t give much of an explanation but months later I would find out about a text conversation between him and this girl Julia where she said he should go on a break with her gf again... meaning he had cheated during his random March break. I was so hurt but I didn’t say anything that time. Internally, it was over but I just couldn’t bring myself to end it. By that summer we were both moving out of our apartments since we both lived in separate places with random assigned student living. We both went to live with our friends, and I had even suggested at that time that we move in together but he denied the idea. That summer he also went on a 2 week cruise with his family around Bahamas and the islands. I spent time with my family and when he returned I just felt like something was off since he was trying to love bomb me. We had a hurricane happen and we lost power for 8 days in Tallahassee and had to struggle together to get though since we chose to quarantine in his apartment for the storm. We chose his place due to the ability to connect a charger to the car through the window and connect appliances since he was on the first floor. The day we got power back I checked my Instagram and noticed there was a DM from a week or so ago from a random girl saying she had slept with my bf during the cruise trip and that she was sorry and thought he was single since that is what he had told her. I was so angry at the time. I remember reading that when I was still in his apt and I screamed out in the living room where he and everyone was about how much a cheater and a horrible person he was and what he had done. He started denying it and being very calm about everything even laughing under his breathe to make me look insane and acting like it didn’t phase him- he didn’t care. I was screaming and calling him all the names and he just kept saying she was actually now obsessed with him and he didn’t pay her attention at the cruise. But why would someone who lives in Canada reach out to me to let me know what happened? She could have just ignored it but she felt it was right to tell me and I respect her for her honesty. I went home that day and wrote a 4 page letter to him of all the wrong that he had done in the 3 years we were together and how I knew about all the infidelities. I’m a writer, so expressing myself in this vessel is a way for me to heal. That evening I was planning on breaking up with him and giving him the letter to read to have closure. I went over to his place and brought over the letter and handed it to him and told him it was over and that I knew he cheated and that what the stranger told me was the truth. He denied it again and took the paper and went straight to the garbage bin to dispose of it. He didn’t even give it a glance and that was so disrespectful. I ran back and asked him why he did that and he ended up stealing my attention to talk about how he actually really did want to break up since we weren’t getting along and it was his senior year and he needed to focus on his bio degree..basically giving his excuses as to why he wanted to end the relationship and really blew me away because it was all excuses but I felt rejection in that moment and that hurt my ego when this was really supposed to end because he cheated on me. We split up for 6 months.
At first I was depressed for a while.. I got so depressed that I became physically ill for a month and doctors didn’t know why I was sick for that long. I believe heartbreak caused that physical manifestation. As the months went by I started accepting it then seeing it was for the better. That month of December 2016 I went to Brasil for a month to visit my family. I had the time of my life going to the beach and doing touristy things; it helped me heal. I felt and told people I was done with him. Then in January he came crawling back to hang out. I rejected it at first then agreed and we started by watching a movie and smoking together. I hadn’t smoked in 6 weeks and my numbness went away and clarity had come back. I started feeling all the emotions again but I started smoking with him and that numbness came back. I honestly wish I wouldn’t have smoked again because it ruined my judgment and the hard work it took to heal. I should never have let him back into my life. After hanging out once he apologized for “leaving me alone all this time” and “abandoning me”. I forgave him and chose to get back together. I honestly thought he was sorry and that he realized what he had lost. Months passed and I was still living with my friend but he was always at my apartment. We got close again and we were both still in school. His plan was to graduate in August and then move back with his family in Miami. I was so upset by this that I wanted him to stay and I told him that. Since he took a while to decide his situation my roommate and her bf and friend who was living with my bf decided to all sign a lease together since my bf was undecided and they needed a place to live. He finally decided that he wanted to stay with me in Tallahassee and so we had to sign a lease together since I had no one else to live with on such short notice.
It was September of 2017 when he moved in. I was very happy at the time and wanted to make the place very cozy. That very next month he had a month long trip to Europe with his family that he went to and left me alone in the apt with my thoughts. I kept thinking.. if he did it once in the Bahamas.. he would do it again in Europe.. Then I would justify it by saying no, no he’s changed. He realized he can’t do that and keep me. But did he? In December I was again seeing my family for a month since at the time they moved to Brasil and was living there for a few years to renovate their home and sell it. I had spent a whole year without seeing my family and I missed them dearly. My bf and I texted the whole time and we were okay. We told each other we missed each other and one day he was silent for hours. Then he replied to me and was very extra about his feelings and how he missed me and I just felt that something was wrong. When I came back he love bombed me and looking back he was very extra with trying to be affectionate to deter me from thinking anything could possibly have happened while I was away. Two months later I stopped smoking to do a class during spring break since I thought I would be drug tested and I became very annoyed easily. He didn’t understand my withdrawal symptoms and reacted harshly as well. I went to check his phone one very day and say some random texts and Facebook messages from girls that didn’t make sense. It was from December while I was away and I just automatically accused him of doing something wrong. He had an explanation for everything and I believed him because I had no proof. Based on his explanations it was all rational. That month we got a letter from our building saying they needed to renovate and move us to another location in the complex, thus resigning another year lease. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do so I signed the lease because I needed a place to stay.
That very month we moved in, I graduated and we went to visit his parents and buy furniture at ikea for our new place. I was so happy at the time. We were in a good place, we were starting an online business, had great ideas flowing, etc. Then one day his phone lit up. I went to check and some number had texted him saying she couldn’t wait to see him on Monday. And he said he couldn’t either. I was so caught off guard because we had just purchased things for our new place and I thought we were okay! I was leaving that weekend to go back and start decorating while he spent more time with him family. It started to make more sense that maybe he was seeing this person while I was away.. I didn’t say anything and that night I messaged the number. I asked her who she was and she said she was a sex worker. At that moment my heart was racing uncontrollably. I didn’t want to know more. We were just okay... we were building a business... no it couldn’t be. I confronted him about it and he said it was an old friend who messaged him and not the person claiming to be a sex worker. I believed him because he had such a serious explanation for it that I fell for the lies. And I wanted the business to move forward.
That summer we spent building the business and website to launch at the end of the summer. Then he went to New York with his family in June for a quick trip and then back to Miami. He then claimed his friends invited him to go to Bahamas out of the blue and told me it was last minute and that he couldn’t refuse a free trip. I was livid. I knew the risk of him cheating and I was sure he would if he went out with his friends. He still went despite me saying I didn’t feel comfortable or like the idea. I then noticed he added someone on Instagram that was from Chicago and she had her Snapchat on her page listed so I decided to follow. I sneakily added her and decided to ask if she knew him. She said yes and that he had just requested her on tinder that day. I blew up on him. He defended himself and rejected it of course but I knew this wasn’t a lie. That was when he started gaslighting me and saying it was all in my head. He didn’t talk to me many nights and I just focused all my energy on building the website. He had an excuse when he got back and I “forgave” him because now we had a business to move forward and money was invested. We were starting a clothing brand together and I wanted it to be successful I was willing to put my own reality on the back burner. What a huge mistake.
The months passed and we got heavily invested, spending hours a day on the business and working a serving job. We were in a good place and happy it seemed. But then in September I noticed him getting close to a family friend and she would randomly call him. One time she called to let him know about some good dog food brands and wanted to talk on the phone about it.. he put her on speaker I guess to try to justify it and show me nothing was going on.. I kept making side marks like why is she asking that? Why does she care? Wtf? And he got so mad he knocked my phone out of my hand and it hit my cheek to the point of causing a bruise. There was no reason for him to knock my phone out. He was talking to her through his phone and I was just holding my phone. He still to this day says it was my fault for being nosy and it’s not his fault the phone hit me.. does that even make sense? We had a trip scheduled with his parents the next week to Tennessee and I went and put on a front like everything was okay. I still had a bruise and I covered it up with makeup. I remember one night his friend was hanging out with us there in the cabins and he said the one important thing to be is honest. It’s so important to be honest with each other. I said yeah it really is and in my mind I thought that he would take the hint or if he had something to say that would be his opportunity to confess. But no. It didn’t phase him.
The emotional abuse continued along with the questioning of my judgment and why I didn’t trust him. He would kick open bathroom doors while I wanted privacy just to “discuss” things on why I had such insecurities or couldn’t trust him. He wanted to ingrain in my mind that I had no reason to doubt him. He would corner me along the kitchen as well to get me to “talk” and not let me pass because we had to discuss things.. pulling me back to the same spot to listen to him..after a while I realized it was some sort of abuse and definitely emotional abuse. Then in December I found a bunch of texted between him and his coworker showing off his designer wallets and things, saying how now she has a reason to “fuck him” and a bunch of other nonsense. I went off. I saw the exchange happened at 4 am.. that was when I was sleeping after staying up late working on OUR business. I knew at that point he would never change and I was wasting my time building something with the wrong person. I kept that bottled up. I didn’t talk to him for days and just became angry. He knew something was wrong and finally asked me and I said you can guess.. you know why I’m mad. He said he didn’t and I still wouldn’t say anything. He then smashed his beer mug onto the counter and it went a million pieces. Then he quickly got up and put both hands on my chair and got really close and screamed TELL ME! At that moment I fell on my back together with him and he grabbed my head and squeezed it and yelled tell me! Since I was so afraid of him at that point i screamed the girls name and got up and then waited for his reaction. Of course he said he didn’t mean it literally he was just playing around and I said that’s so disrespectful especially when I show my face at the restaurant at times to say hi or eat. He didn’t seem like it bothered him at all. He just brushed it off like he does with everything that hurts me. He makes it seem small so that I forget about it too.
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